Animal JokesWhat did the elephant say to the famous detective? How did the frozen chicken cross the road? How does a chicken tell time? If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road? What day do chickens hate most?
Blonde JokesHow do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant? Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
Yo momma JokesYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck. Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime Yo mamas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.
Aviation JokesA man named Mr. Smith was flying from San Francisco Cessn A: Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped Tower: Shamu two-two, please state estimated time of arrival
Bar JokesA man is in a bar having a drink A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini Where do Martians drink beer?
Business JokesGive Us The Benefit Of Your Thinking Give Us Your Interpretation It Is In The Process Major Technological Breakthrough Please Note And Initial
Celebrity JokesGary Barlow Obe Chuck Norris does not know about this website Chuck Norris is the only person in the world 100 Women Surveyed, Would you have sex with Bill Clinton? At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, “What song would u sing of mine justin?
Computer JokesWhat did the computer say to the student writing an essay? 50 Ways To Confuse, Worry, Or Just Scare People In The Computer Lab If Operating Systems Were Beer Brands Top Ten new Intel Slogans for the Pentium Internet Test
Criminal JokesWhat has 3 teeth and 30 legs? A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up? Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn’t any good A computer geek goes to prison for fraud
A guy waiting at the bus stop wearing chains What did the sign on the whore house say? What’s the ultimate rejection? Did you hear the one about the blonde? What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
Doctor JokesThree patients at a psychiatric clinic How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? Mary was having a tough day At a medical convention, doctors flerting each other What is a drill team?
Economic JokesHow can you tell when an economist is lying? How has French revolution affected world economic growth? How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Ethnic Jokeswhat do you call a Chinese heroin addict What do you call an asian that injects? Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? What do you call a redneck bursting into flames?
Family JokesThere was a woman who was pregnant with twins A little demon came home from school one day Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine? Pride is what you feel when your kids net money When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer
Food JokesWhat did the coffee say after the donut asked him a math problem? What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster? Two little boys were visiting their grandfather What’s the difference between a biscuit and a monster? Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
Fruit JokesHow do you make an apple turnover? What is long and yellow and always points north? Why did Eve want to move to New York? What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? Dad, do you like baked apples?
History JokesWhen crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat? What was Camelot? How did you do in your tests? Why did Arthur have a round table? Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood
HumorHeard of the dyslexic drug addict? Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid? What did the hat say to the necktie? A man is hired by the circus to perform a task A young banker decided to get his first tailor
Idiot and fool JokesThe fool who keeps going round saying ”no” A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit? My friend is so stupid that he thinks twice before saying nothing. A man in a swimming pool was on the diving board
Jokes for Kids and ChildrenHow do you make a tissue dance? How do you make holy water? How many books can you put in an empty backpack? How do baseball players stay cool? How do crazy people go through the forest?
Knock Knock JokesKnock Knock Who’s there ! Blur ! Blur who? Knock Knock Who’s there ! Blood ! Blood who? Knock Knock Who’s there ! Badger ! Badger who? Knock Knock Who’s there ! Bologna ! Bologna who? Knock Knock Who’s there ! Butch ! Butch who?
Men and Women JokesWhy do so few men end up in Heaven? Why do men like love at first site? I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months! – I don’t like to interrupt her. Never before had Sue looked in her husband box When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Movie and TV JokesHow does a singer change a light bulb? How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus? How do you tell if a tenor is dead?? How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead? Did you hear about the planeload of conductors en route to the European Festival?
People JokesWhat is the definition of Death? Insurance agent to would-be client Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn’t come in and closed you up? Judge: ‘Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars? A punk walked into a barber’s shop and sat in an empty chair. ‘Haircut, sir?
Police and Military JokesWhat do you call a policewoman that shaves her vagina? Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police You Might be a Marine Wife if While practicing autorotations during a military night exercise The chief of staff of the US Air Force
Political JokesBarack Obama is on a sinking ship, who gets saved? Barack Obama’s daughters are very smart As you know by now, the government is now taking an active role But the dog thing — maybe that is where the floppy ears come from Congratulations to President Obama on being reelected president
Question JokesKnock Knock Who’s there ! Blur ! Blur who? Where does baby oil come from? Knock Knock Who’s there ! Blood ! Blood who? What did the sign on the whore house say? Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
A couple had two little mischievous boys Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent The church was conducting its annual fund drive An accountant dies and goes to Heaven A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg
School JokesWhat do you call a snake after it drinks three cups of coffee? What do you call an algebra teacher who takes his vacations at the beach? What do you call friends who love math? How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation? What did algebra math book say to the other?
Special Day JokesWhat is the cleanest reindeer called? What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant? What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf? What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? What did the cow get for Christmas?
Sport JokesWhich insect didn’t play well in goal? Which England player keeps up the fuel supply? Why do artists never win when they play football? When fish play football, who is the captain? A true story, according to the LA Times
Technology JokesWe at Microsoft believe in making computing easier How do skunks like their e-mails? What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer? Why was the skeleton using the Internet? Customer: I’m running Windows ’95
Travel and Tourist JokesA fellow stopped at a rural gas station Someone — always a man — always asks, ‘does the ship run on generators? A farmer, who went to a big city A huge American car screeched to a halt in a village How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Weird JokesFirst girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror What’s the speed limit of sex? Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion I’m not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased!
Women JokesBlonde Interview Blonde Riding A Horse A Robber and a Parrot Turtle Recall Catching a White Elephant