How do you make an apple turnover?Push it down hill.
Jim: My father has Washington’s shoe. Jeff: That’s nothing. My father has Adam’s apple. campaign970
These people could have personally witnessed Obama being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem — and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim. —Jimmy Kimmel
Question: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? Answer: A middle school math problem!
Question: Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other? Answer: They were core-relations.
Question: What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree? A. Pineapple.
Why did Eve want to move to New York ?She fell for the Big Apple !
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?A pineapple !
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?An outboard apple.
Dad, do you like baked apples?Yes son, why?The orchard’s on fire.
What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?He brought it to school and said, ‘An Ape-lle for the teacher!’
What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ?Worm your way out of that one !
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?It can look round.
Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple. We must get to the core of this!
What did the mama pig say when junior pig bought a basket of wormy apples?”Don’t tell the farmer. He might charge us extra.”
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have ?Pupil : A fight !
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?A crab apple !
What did the apple say to the apple pie?”You’ve got some crust.”
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?When you take careful aim.
How do you get the most apples when bobbing at Halloween Wear a snorkel !
Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy?None – because they were all redskins.
Fred came rushing in to his Dad. ”Dad!” he puffed, ”is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” ”That’s what they say,” said his Dad. ”Well, give me an apple quick ?I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”
Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, ‘Watch out for worms won’t you !’ The first one replied, ‘why should I ?They can watch out for themselves.
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What’s eating you?Second apple: Worms, I think.
WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?
How do you make an apple puff?Chase it round the garden
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go in pairs !
Why don’t apples smile when you go bobbing ?Because they’re crab apples !
If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs?None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, ”If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Quickly he replied, ”If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 apples.”
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Apple ! Apple who ?Apple the door myself!
Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating?A. Finding half a worm.
Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn’t the crust, that was the pie plate.
A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California’s apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, ”How much are yer apples?” ”All you can pick for one dollar,” said the rancher. ”Okay,” said the Pennsylvanian. ”I’ll take two dollars’ worth.”
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason. ”What kind of pie do you call this ?” asked one schoolboy indignantly. ”What’s it taste of ?” asked the cook. ”Glue!” ”Then it’s apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap.”
What is the left side of an apple?The part that you don’t eat.
Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, ”Watch out for worms won’t you!” The first one replied, ”Why should I?They can watch out for themselves.”
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?Keeps everyone away.
What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples?A senior high school math problem.
Why didn’t the two worms get on Noah’s Ark in an apple ?Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
Why couldn’t the apple send an e-mail to the orange?Because the lime was engaged.
What’s the difference between a worm and an apple ?Have you ever tried worm pie ?!
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?Worm your way out of that one, then!
How do you get the most apples at Halloween?Take a snorkel.
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. ”You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!” ”What’s he doing with the apples?” the sergeant asked. ”If I told you,” the woman cried, ”you wouldn’t believe … Read more
What kind of apple isn’t an apple?A pineapple.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up?He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).