Best time to take a bath #joke #humor
Mother: The best time to take a bath is just before retiring. Sammy: No wonder Grandpa didn’t retire until he was sixty-five! campaign970
Bath Jokes
What’s white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
Question: What’s white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall? Answer: George Michael’s latest release.
Why did the robber take a bath?
Question: Why did the robber take a bath? Answer: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Where do bees go to the bathroom?
Question: Where do bees go to the bathroom? Answer: At the BP station!
If you’re Scottish when you go into the bathroom
Question: If you’re Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you’re Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the toilet? A. European (you are peeing).
What do you call a fairy that hasn’t taken a bath?
Question: What do you call a fairy that hasn’t taken a bath? A. STINKerbell.
Why did Tigger look in the bathroom?
Question: Why did Tigger look in the bathroom? A. To find Pooh!
What criminal doesn’t take baths?
What criminal doesn’t take baths?A dirty crook.
How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub?
Q: How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub? A: Throw in a bar of soap.
A parrot when it has dried itself after a bath
What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?Polly unsaturated!
Doctor: The best time to take a bath
Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don’t need another bath until I’m sixty-five?
My mother says I look just like an animal when I’m in the bath – a little bear.
My mother says I look just like an animal when I’m in the bath – a little bear.
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. ‘Can you give me a room and bath?’ he asked the clerk. ‘I can give you a room,’ the clerk said. ‘But you’ll have to take the bath by yourself!’
Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath. Dad: What’s wrong with that?
Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath. Dad: What’s wrong with that?You’ve seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty?
When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty?The bathtub.
Why did the bank robber take a bath?
Why did the bank robber take a bath?So he could make a clean getaway.
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?Igor: Yes, I hate it. Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve invented the … Read more
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. ”There is a blind man to see you,” she says. ”Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.” The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother … Read more
Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit
Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You do?Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!
Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath?
Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath?Rick: I use soap and water, personally.
What kind of bath can you take without water?
What kind of bath can you take without water?A sun bath.
What do snakes have on their bath towels?
What do snakes have on their bath towels ?Hiss and Hers !
How do you know that there’s a monster in your bath?
How do you know that there’s a monster in your bath?You can’t get the shower curtain closed.
Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ?Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ?Stan: Blindfold them !
your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Which villains steal soap from the bath?
Which villains steal soap from the bath?Robber ducks.
What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath?
What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ?The scum of the earth !
Which birds steal soap from the bath?
Which birds steal soap from the bath ?Robber ducks !
How is a marriage like a hot bath?
Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ?A little bear !
How do you get a German out of the bath?
Q: How do you get a German out of the bath? A: Turn on the water.
Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were?
Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were?What did you do ?Ned: I took a bath !
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn’t had a bath?
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn’t had a bath?Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I’ll run the bath then
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I’ll run the bath then. Mom: Why?Joe: Because on the bottle it says ”to be taken in water.”
Why did the robber take a bath?
Why did the robber take a bath?So he could make a clean getaway.
Where does a vampire take a bath?
Where does a vampire take a bath?In the bat-room (bathroom).
Mum, does God use the bathroom?
Mum, does God use the bathroom?No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, ‘Oh, God, are you still in there?’
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn’t gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What dog loves to take bubble baths?
What dog loves to take bubble baths ?A shampoodle !
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap?
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap?Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I’d drunk the bath there wasn’t room for medicine.
Are you going to take a bath?
Are you going to take a bath?No, I’m leaving it where it is.
Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss
Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look … Read more
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ?After a week he was spotless !
Does your brother keep himself clean?
Does your brother keep himself clean?Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.
Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom?
Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!
The plumber was working in a house
The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, ”Will it be alright if I have a bath while you’re having your lunch?” ”It’s okay with me lady,” said the plumber, ”as long as you don’t splash my sandwiches.”
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why?
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why?Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?Because he was practicing Handel’s Water Music.