Question: Why do birds fly south for the winter? Answer: Its easier than walking!
Question: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A. Because it’s too far to walk!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ?A brick-layer !
What goes ‘peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang’ ?A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons !
What do you call a vulture with no beak?A head banger.
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To get to the chick across the street!
What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?Polly unsaturated!
Why did a man’s pet vulture not make a sound for five years?It was stuffed.
Which bird is always out of breath ?A puffin !
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets.
What kind of doctor does a duck visit?A Ducktor.
Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.
What do you call a crate of ducks ?A box of quackers !
Two owls were playing pool. One said, ”Two hits.” The other replied, ”Two hits to who?”
What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ?The bombshell !
What do confused owls say?Too-whit-to-why?
Why do ducks have webbed feet ?To stamp out forest fires !
Why did the chicken cross the playground ?To get to the other slide
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark ?A bird that will talk you ear off !
What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ?She kicked the bucket !
Why do parrots carry umbrellas?So they don’t become polly-saturated!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?A bird that lays down !
What do you give a sick bird ?Tweetment !
Why is politics for the birds?Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?”You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours !”
What’s got six legs and can fly long distances ?Three swallows !
What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin?I don’t know but it’s a very tightfitting tuxedo.
What birds spend all their time on their knees ?Birds of prey !
Why does a rooster watch TV ?For hentertainment !
What do you call a bird that lives underground ?A mynah bird !
What’s the definition of Polystyrene?A plastic parrot!
What do parrots eat ?Polyfilla !
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)
What is the definition of Robin ?A bird who steals !
Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air ?Because eggs were going up !
How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ?With it’s sparrowchute !
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?Jail-birds !
Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?To show the opossum it could be done.
How do you get a cut-price parrot ?Plant bird seed !
Why did the owl, owl ?Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er !
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ?An eggroll !
Where do birds meet for coffee ?In a nest-cafe !
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ?She was tickled to death !
What did the rich socialite’s parrot say?Polly want a cracker, with cavier please!
How do you identify a bald eagle?All his feathers are combed over to one side.
What do you get from a drunk chicken ?Scotch eggs !
Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting ”Pieces of four”?Short John Silver!
What is the strongest bird ?A crane !
Where do blind parrots go for treatment?The Birds Eye counter!
What happened when the owl lost his voice ?He didn’t give a hoot !