What was the favorite game at the ghosts’ birthday party? Hide and shriek! campaign970
President Obama celebrated his 52nd birthday yesterday. You can tell he’s getting older because he no longer supports President Obama. –Jimmy Fallon
This weekend President Obama celebrated his 52nd birthday. For his birthday, Michelle Obama jumped out of a cake and told him he’s not allowed to have any. –Conan O’Brien
Question: Why won’t Barack Obama be celebrating his 51st birthday? Answer: Republicans won’t let Democrats raise taxes on the rich let alone Barack Obama’s age!
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?”Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Cat: ”What did you get him for his birthday?” Dog: ”Pant . . . pant!” Cat: ”Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!”
How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party?Look for his footprints in the ice cream.
I forgot my brother’s birthday last month. What did he say?Rick: Nothing, yet.
What did you get for your birthday?Another year!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?Because people kept toasting him!
Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy?He was celebrating his girthday!
It was Grandpa Jones’ 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained ”I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I’ve been in the open air, day after … Read more
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?Mice cream and cake!
Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap?It was a birthday present from his wife!
Did you hear about the flag’s birthday?It was a Happy one!
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. ”Excuse me for disturbing you, ma’am,” he said politely, ”but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with … Read more
What does a clam do on his birthday?He shellabrates!
What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles?The fire department.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?When it’s been sliced.
Did you hear about the tree’s birthday?It was a sappy one!
What is your favourite type of birthday present?Another present!
On Fred’s 17th birthday, his Dad said he’d take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, ”Just one thing, Fred. If you’re going to hit anything, make sure it’s cheap.”
Will you come to my party on Saturday?Yes, please, What’s the address?25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow?Well, you won’t be empty-handed, will you!
‘I’m giving a ‘surprised’ birthday party for you.” ”A ‘surprised’. birthday party?What’s that?” ”That’s where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I’ll be surprised!”
Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?He’s trying to age disgracefully!
Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn’t figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type ‘Happy Birthday’
What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?A party line!
A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked. ‘It’s my birthday!’ he hollered. ‘And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there’s to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco … Read more
I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her?A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!
What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?Coop-cakes !
What is an elf’s favourite kind of birthday cake?Shortcake!
Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!
‘I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.”’
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, ”I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, ”Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” … Read more
Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure?I was 10 years old yesterday.
Good news! I’ve been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don’t get the bowl until my next birthday!
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?Because it was marble cake!
Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?He wanted to have a birthday potty!
First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday?Second boy: No, I’m having a witch do. First boy: What’s a witch do?Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.
‘Did you go shopping for my birthday present?” ”Yeah, and I found the perfect thing.” ”What thing is that?” ”Nothing!”
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?In a cat-alogue!
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?A stole.
Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday?Harry: Sure. It’s a great present but I just can’t find the words to thank you enough.
What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?”Happy Birthday To Gnu!”
Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards?The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. ”I’ll never understand women” said Joe. ”The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.” ”Wow! That’s quite some gift” said the bartender. ”So … Read more
Man l: ”I got my wife a VCP for her birthday” Man 2: ”Don’t you mean a VCR?” Man 1: ”No, a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!”
What do you always get on your birthday?Another year older!birt