Question: What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown? A. ”That tasted funny!”
Q. What did the cannibal’s wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?A. The cold shoulder.
First cannibal: I can’t find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle’s full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they’re all very unsavory.
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife?He was an aunteater.
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?Pickled organs.
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other ”I don’t like your friend.” The other one said, ”Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables.”
Why did the cannibal live on his own?He was fed up with other people.
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?She didn’t suit his taste!
What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast?Weedie Bix!!
A cannibal’s dillemA: If God didn’t want us to eat people, why did he make them out of meat?
What is the cannibals’ favorite game?Swallow my Leader.
When do cannibals cook you?On Fried-days.
A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, ”Hey, you can kill me or you can eat me, but I’m tired of getting stuck for drinks!”
A cannibal chief was just about to stew his latest victim for dinner when the man protested, ”You can’t eat me ?I’m the manager!” ”Well,” said the cannibal, ”soon you’ll be a manager in chief.”
What is a cannibal’s favorite food?Baked Beings.
Why didn’t the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?He thought he would give him a paunch!
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals ?He went down really well !
What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2?He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?He became a vegetarian.
Was the principal’s brother really a missionary?He certainly was. He gave the people of the Cannibal Islands their first taste of Christianity !
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?He was caught poaching.
Why don’t cannibals eat comedians?They taste funny.
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?He wanted a balanced meal.
First cannibal: I don’t know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry?
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?He got himself into a real stew.
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?They were given a right roasting.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock?It repeated on him.
How can you help a starving cannibal?Give him a helping hand.
The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. ”Your Majesty,” he said, ”the slaves are revolting!” ”You don’t have to tell me,” said the king. ”I’m trying to eat them. ”Where did we get these slaves anyway?” ”From the country next door,” replied the servant. ”We must get a new butcher,” … Read more
What happened at the cannibal’s wedding party?They toasted the bride and groom.
What do cannibal say when they say grace?”We thank you,Lord, for our daily dead!”
A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she’s too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she’s to skinny. After … Read more
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?He said, ”So that I can feed my lads with m’lasses.”
Cannibal Boy: I’ve brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we’ll have him tomorrow.
What did the cannibal say to the explorer?”Nice to meat you”!
First Cannibal: ”Have you seen the dentist?” Second Cannibal: ”Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time.”
Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village?Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads?Because they’re headcases !
Why don’t cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis?He gives them runs!
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ”For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful.”
Cannibal: Mom, mom, I’ve been eating a missionary and I feel sick ! Mom: Well, you know what they say – you can’t keep a good man down !
Two cannibals were having lunch. ”Your wife makes a great soup,” said one to the other. ”Yes!” agreed the first. ”But I’m going to miss her terribly.”
Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?Because he ate his ant for dinner!
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ?Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?He ate himself.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?Vitamin bills!
1st Cannibal: I don’t know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot ?