What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
Question: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? Answer: A sour puss!
Cat Jokes
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Question: What do cats eat for breakfast? Answer: Mice Crispies!
What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Question: What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus? A. Santa-Claws!
There are ten cats on a boat
Question: There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left? A. None, they were all copy cats!
There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English
Question: There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat’s name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat’s name was One Two Three. Both cats think they’re better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why? A. The English cat, because … Read more
What is a cat’s favorite color?
Question: What is a cat’s favorite color? A. PURRple!
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet … Read more
What is the cat’s favourite TV show?
What is the cat’s favourite TV show ?The evening mews !
A woman is walking in the park
A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the man ”I can’t believe what I’m seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal!!” The man replied ”Nah lady this cats not clever at all I’m beating it 6 games to 1”
The best Cat Riddles
More Cat Riddles What looks like half a cat ? The other half ! What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ? She had mittens ! What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ? A carrot ! How do cats eat spaghetti ? The same as everyone … Read more
What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?A catastrophe !
Did you know that Clinton’s cat can play Chess?
Q: Did you know that Clinton’s cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn’t really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.
Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?– A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.
Cat: What did you get him for his birthday?
Cat: ”What did you get him for his birthday?” Dog: ”Pant . . . pant!” Cat: ”Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!”
When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
When is it unlucky to see a black cat ?When your a mouse !
Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?
Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?– A: Catch.
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?I’m paw !
Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ?Because they both have ”Sandy claws” !
What’s every cat’s favorite song?
Q: What’s every cat’s favorite song?– A: Three Blind Mice!
How do you get milk from a witch’s cat?
How do you get milk from a witch’s cat?Steal her saucer.
Brother: Did you put the cat out?
Brother: Did you put the cat out ?Sister: Why, is it on fire ?
A guy walks into a laundry run by cats
A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. ”Excuse me”, he said to the cat in charge, ”Can you get milk stains out?” ”Sure,” replied the cat. ”We’ll have that stain licked in a minute!”
How is cat food sold?
How is cat food sold ?Usually purr can !
What do cat actors say on stage?
What do cat actors say on stage ?Tabby or not tabby !
On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
On what should you mount a statue of your cat ?A caterpillar !
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?Mice cream and cake!
Calls to The Pet Help Line
Calls to The Pet Help Line (Actual Calls to a Pet Care Hotline) ”My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering…. how many calories are in a mouse?” ”I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?” ”Does your dog food help with emancipation?” … Read more
What do you call a cat who eats lemons?
Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons?– A: A sourpuss!
A cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock
Q: What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?– A: Catsup!
What do you call it when a cat stops?
Q: What do you call it when a cat stops?– A: A paws!
If you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?A sourpuss !
Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?
Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?– A: It’s meow-sic to their ears!
Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
Why is a frog luckier than a cat ?Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !
Why do black cats never shave?
Why do black cats never shave ?Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?Because of the tree bark.
A motorist ran into a shop. ‘Do you own a black and white cat?
A motorist ran into a shop. ”Do you own a black and white cat?” he asked. ”No,” replied the manager. ”Oh dear,” said the motorist, ”I must have run over a nun.”
A cat and a mouse died on the same day
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them ‘How do you like it so far?’ The mouse replied ‘It’s great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?’ God said ‘Sure’, and he gave him a pair … Read more
Why did the cat put the letter M into the fridge?
Why did the cat put the letter ”M” into the fridge ?Because it turns ”ice” into ”mice” !
What is an octopus?
What is an octopus?An eight-sided cat.
Why does everyone love cats?
Q: Why does everyone love cats?– A: They’re purr-fect!
What’s long and stylish and full of cats?
What’s long and stylish and full of cats?The Easter Purrade!
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ?She’s got that down in the mouth look !
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ?She had mittens !
Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?Because they’re let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?They might be cheetahs!
Doctor, said the patient, I need help!
‘Doctor,” said the patient, ”I need help! I can’t stop acting like a cat!” ”How long have you had this problem?” the doctor asked. ”Lest’s see,” said the patient, ”Mom had the litter in ’41
What is a black cat’s favourite TV show?
What is a black cat’s favourite TV show ?Miami Mice !
Where do cats write down notes?
Q: Where do cats write down notes?– A: Scratch Paper!
Why do cats chase birds?
Why do cats chase birds ?For a lark !
What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?– A: Mice cream