What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Question: What is the cleanest reindeer called? A. Comet.
Christmas Jokes
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn’t very good at wrapping.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?
Question: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68? Answer: Neither has real roots.
What will Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both be getting for Christmas?
Question: What will Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both be getting for Christmas? Answer: Patrick Swayze
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
Question: What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant? A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
Question: What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed? A. A cookie sheet!
What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
Question: What did the monkey sing on Christmas day? A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
Question: What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf? A. Nothing, reindeer can’t talk.
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
Question: What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? A. ”Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
What did the cow get for Christmas?
Question: What did the cow get for Christmas? A. A COWculator.
What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
Question: What did the ghost say to Santa Claus? A. ”I’ll have a boo Christmas without you.”
Did you hear about the cracker’s Christmas party?
Question: Did you hear about the cracker’s Christmas party? A. It was a BANG!
How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
Question: How did the sheep say Merry Christmas? A. ”Fleece Avoided.”
How do you know when Santa’s in the room?
Question: How do you know when Santa’s in the room? A. You can sense his presents.
How do you scare a snowman?
Question: How do you scare a snowman? A. You get a hairdryer!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Question: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? A. Nothing, it was on the house!
If athletes get athlete’s foot, then what do astronauts get?
Question: If athletes get athlete’s foot, then what do astronauts get? A. Missile-toe.
What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
Question: What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents? A. Silent Night.
What comes before Christmas Eve?
Question: What comes before Christmas Eve? A. Christmas Adam!
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
Question: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky? A. ”Looks like rain, dear.”
What’s white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
Question: What’s white and red and goes up and down and up and down? A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
What’s a good holiday tip?
Question: What’s a good holiday tip? A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
What’s a good holiday tip?
Question: What’s a good holiday tip? A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
What’s red and white, red and white, red and white?
Question: What’s red and white, red and white, red and white? A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
What’s Santa’s favourite candy?
Question: What’s Santa’s favourite candy? A. Jolly Ranchers!
What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
Question: What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas? A. A list of everything you want!
What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Question: What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations? A. Tinsilitis!
What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Question: What does Santa clean his sleigh with? A. Comet.
What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
Question: What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black? A. Santa Claus.
What is big, red and flies in the sky?
Question: What is big, red and flies in the sky? A. Santa Clause.
What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
Question: What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies? A. Santa’s burps!
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
Question: What kind of bug hates Christmas? A. A humbug.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
Question: What nationality is Santa Claus? A. North Polish.
What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?
Question: What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner? A. Turkey and Greece.
What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Question: What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus? A. Santa-Claws!
What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
Question: What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus? A. Crisp Kringle.
What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
Question: What do they sing under the ocean during the winter? A. Christmas Corals!
What do you call a girl with a Christmas Tree on her head?
Question: What do you call a girl with a Christmas Tree on her head? A. Carol.
What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time?
Question: What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time? A. Santa snores!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
Question: What do you call a snowman in the summer? A. A puddle!
What do you call Santa Claus deep fried?
Question: What do you call Santa Claus deep fried? A. Krisp Kringle.
What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
Question: What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom? A. Krisp Cringle.
What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Question: What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree? A. Pineapple.
What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
Question: What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck? A. A Christmas Quacker.
What do call Santa when he stops moving?
Question: What do call Santa when he stops moving? A. Santa Pause!
What do elves learn in school?
Question: What do elves learn in school? A. The elf-abet.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Question: What do snowmen do on Christmas? A. Play with the snow angels.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes..
Why was Santa’s helper depressed?
Question: Why was Santa’s helper depressed? A. He had low ELF-esteem.