Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” came … Read more
But the dog thing — maybe that is where the floppy ears come from. –Jimmy Kimmel
Conservatives are now criticizing President Obama because as a child in Indonesia he sometimes ate dog meat. But on the plus side, Obama is now polling very well among cats. –Conan O’Brien
In his victory speech last night, President Obama told his daughters that they would not be getting another dog. When asked why, the president said, ‘Because I just made Mitt Romney my bitch. –Conan O’Brien
This week the Obamas’ dog, Bo, turned 4 years old. He spent the day the way he always does – digging holes, chasing squirrels, and coaching Obama for the debates. –Jimmy Fallon
Question: What do you call 5 dogs with no balls? Answer: The Spice Girls!
What is Snoop Dog’s favorite weather? Drizzle
Question: What is the name of Helen Keller’s dog? Answer: Nyah, nyu, yuh, yah.
Question: Why did Bill Clinton name his new dog Buddy? Answer: He couldn’t bear to say ”Come Spot… Come Spot!”
Question: What dog keeps the best time? Answer: A watch dog.
Question: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? Answer: It barked with de-light!
Question: What do you give a dog with a fever? Answer: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Question: What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant? A. A dogophant.
Question: What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster? A. A cockatoo!
Question: What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween? A. A Hallo-weenie!
Question: What kind of dog does a vampire have? A. A bloodhound.
Question: What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog? A. A dog a sore!
Question: What dog loves to take a shower? A. A shamPOODLE.
How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?He barked g-r-r-r-illa!
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet … Read more
A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said ”Why do you want me to do that?the dogs tail is perfectly healthy.” The man replied ”Well the wifes mother comes this weekend and I want to make sure there are no signs … Read more
Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?They have short tales!
Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the back seat of a car?– A: Put him in the front seat.
What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs?Ath-fleats!
Why is it called a ”litter” of puppies ?Because they mess up the whole house !
What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick?A docs-hund!
Why was the mother flea so unhappy?All her children had gone to the dogs.
What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?Look out for the mice!
What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead !
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?Only if they have a very frank relationship!
What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?Wire haired terriers !!
How can you make a basset hound fast?Take away its food!
I bought a dog the other day… I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him… ”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He’s an East German Shepherd.
Why is a dog so warm in Summer?He wears a coat and pants.
What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?I don’t know but I’ll join in if it laughs !
What should you do if you have a basset hound over for dinner?Have a short table!
Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?A. ”Rough rough”.
What dog always gets on everyone’s nerves?A great pane!
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
What is brown and gray, has eight legs, and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.
A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn’t I see you on a TV commercial?How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?
What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?A Doberman puncher!
What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ?Chump chops !
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater ?A plain clothes police dog !
Why don’t dogs make good dancers ?Because they have two left feet !
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?He was trying to make both ends meet !
What dogs never get lost?Newfound-lands!
What dog takes the money and runs fast! A payhound!
How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?With dog diskettes!
What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?Fi-Do!