Gary Barlow Obe

There has been growing opinion of Gary Barlow handing back the obe he received recently following alledged tax avoidance but a senior spokesperson for clarence house have apologized and explained that due to a mistake by an official who is dyslexic there was a mix up and mr Barlow should have received an I.o.u.

The Beep

Sally was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day after day, all she’d hear, from friends, family, and customers alike, would be their message and then they’d ALL say, “BEEP.” She discovered the solution to the BEEP riddle when she dialed her own phone number and listened to … Read more

Turkey Football

The Dallas Cowboys had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the Jason Garret and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass from Tony Romo and ran right through … Read more

Table Manners

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”? Because they never learned good table manners!  campaign970

Turkey Fight

What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him! campaign970

Two Atoms #joke #humor

Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently. One said: “Why do you look so sad?” The other responded: “I lost an electron.” Concerned, One asked “Are you sure?” The other replied “I’m positive.” campaign970

Deserted Island #joke #humor

For years, three men were stranded on a desert island. One day, a magic lamp washed on to the beach. They rubbed the lamp, and a genie appeared that granted each man a wish. “I wish I was off this island and back with my family,” said the first man, and he disappeared. “I also … Read more

Don’t Be Late #joke #humor

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to get to Sunday School. As she ran, she prayed. “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late. Dear Lord, please don’t let me late…” …. at this moment she tripped and fell, getting her clothes dirty. She got up, … Read more

Sushi #joke #humor

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant with his wife. The waiter approaches, the guy asks for “a table for two”. As they are waiting for a table to be prepared, his wife cant help to notice a fish tank full of beautiful tropical fish. The wife turns to her husband and demands that she … Read more

Gravity #joke #humor

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?” Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.” campaign970

Dynamite Fishing #joke #humor

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden asked him how he did it so the man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day … Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of … Read more

A frog calling the Psychic Hotline #joke #humor

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, … Read more

Horse Race #joke #humor

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, ”All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do … Read more

Funny Flight Announcements #joke #humor

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “”in-flight safety lecture”” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee: “There may be 50 ways to leave your boyfriend, but there are only 4 ways out of this … Read more

Danger! Beware of dog. #joke #humor

Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” came … Read more

Jobs for Writers #joke #humor

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer. When asked to define “great” he said “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, … Read more

New Taxi Driver #joke #humor

A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger … Read more


Dick Cheney, President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”  Dubya shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make … Read more

Human beings #joke #humor

A teacher called for sentences using the word “beans.” “My father grows green beans,” said the star student. “My mother cooks lima beans,” said another pupil. Then a third student added:  “We are all human beans.” campaign970

Got any grapes? #joke #humor

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the … Read more


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