There has been growing opinion of Gary Barlow handing back the obe he received recently following alledged tax avoidance but a senior spokesperson for clarence house have apologized and explained that due to a mistake by an official who is dyslexic there was a mix up and mr Barlow should have received an I.o.u.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Question: 100 Women Surveyed, Would you have sex with Bill Clinton? Answer: 80% said not again.
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, “What song would u sing of mine justin?” Justin said, “If I were a boy.”
Question: Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper takes a boat ride, the boat capsizes, who gets saved? Answer: The United States of America!
Bill Cosby: ”A-zibbity zib zab I’m a zombie!”
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He’ll come out a wide receiver!
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors.
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France’s on DRUGS! When I’m on drugs, I can’t even FIND my bicycle.
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, ”Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston’s coffee table.”.
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Question: Do you know why Monica got a stain on her dress? Answer: She didn’t keep her mouth shut!
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye’s baby ‘North West’ I will be naming my first son ‘Taco’.
Every time you’re sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
Girls say guys are jerks but there favourite artist is lil wayne
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus
Question: Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican? Answer: The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
Question: Did you see Dolly Parton’s new shoes? Answer: Neither did she.
Question: Did you hear about Michael Jackson’s new band? Answer: It’s called the Jackson Five and Under.
Question: Did you hear about the latest JFK Jr. movie? Answer: Its called Three Funerals and a Wedding.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn’t very good at wrapping.
how did they punish hellen keller? by moving the furnature around
Question: How do Helen Keller’s parents punish her? Answer: By putting a plunger in the toilet.
Question: How did Michael get in trouble? Answer: He was feeling a little Randy.
Question: Have you heard about Michael Jackson’s new book? Answer: It’s called, ”The In’s and Out’s of Child Rearing”
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you’ll get a toy someday.
Question: Hear about Kennedy Airlines? Answer: Their motto is ”Your luggage will arrive before you do!”
Question: How did Helen Keller’s mother punish her? Answer: By rearranging the living-room furniture.
Question: How did JFK Jr. learn how to fly? Answer: He took a crash course.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Question: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? Answer: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.
Question: How come Mike Tyson’s eye’s water during sex? Answer: Mace
Question: How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed? Answer: When the big hand is on the little hand.
Question: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? Answer: From a catalogue.
how dose Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalouge
how is kris humphries trying to get kim kardashian back? by painting his dick black
How do you wake Lady Gaga up in the morning? A- you ”poke her face”
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
kn:the rock:who is that girl singing on the radio? girl: that is not a girl thats justin bieber
In Taylor Swift’s song trouble, she lied. She said that her ex Harry was trouble. But which one of them has been in a whole bunch of unsuccessful relationships and has songs to prove it? Maybe its not Taylor’s exes who are trouble, maybe she’s trouble.
Julia Gillard walks into a bar. She says wanna go out sometime The bartender says yes Miss Gillard She says f*ck off I wasn’t talking to you The bartender says who were you talking to then Julia Gillard says the wall
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting ”Live life full”. That’s just 3 random words. I’m going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Justin Bieber threw up on stage. I guess this proves that not even him can stand his music.
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm
Question: How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history? Answer: The President after Bush
I bet Rosa Parks killed in musical chairs.
I feel like Taylor Swift is that friend who invites her self to places.