Some kids play Kick the can
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
The Bible was originally titled ”Chuck Norris and Friends”
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for ”Chuck Norris’ basement”.
Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!
Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn’t have nearly enough balls.
On the Asian market, Chuck Norris
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Werewolf Barbie …normal doll, except under a full moon
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Witch Doctor Barbie …with potions and face paints
The world
If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!
Mel Gibson wasn’t drunk when he called that police officer, ”Sugar Tits.” He thought he was Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.
Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
Coroners refer to dead people as ”ABC’s”. Already Been Chucked.
Chuck Norris doesn’t play god. Playing is for children.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Picasso Barbie …everything’s in the wrong place
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Mick Jagger Barbie …Mick with Barbie’s head…but Mick’s lips
Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn’t hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?Just don’t monkey with him.
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Joker Barbie …Barbie with Joker grin and white face
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris had sex with a pinecone. The resullt was the great redwood tree.
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris’ misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.
Chuck Norris don
Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – House Wife Barbie …dressed in ratty, old housecoat? comes with dirty laundry and sink full of dishes
The wind of Chuck Norris
There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Junkie Barbie …complete with needle tracks
Chuck Norris invented the question mark.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
What’s brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?King Kong in clingfilm
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ”hole.” Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said ”Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris just says ”no” to drugs. If he said ”yes”, it would collapse Colombia’s infrastructure.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.