Funny Criminal Jokes

What has 3 teeth and 30 legs?


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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal


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What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up?


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Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn’t any good


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A computer geek goes to prison for fraud


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Who is the strongest thief?


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What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?


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Knock Knock Who’s there ! Burglar ! Burglar who?


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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison


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It was Rocky’s first night in the penitentiary


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Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?


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Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store


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What was the parrot doing in prison?


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Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen?


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Why do pens get sent to prison?


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Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?


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Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair


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When the school was broken into, the thieves


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Why was the robber bionic?


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Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today


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Criminal: Why don’t you hire these twins for the robbery, boss?


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What hired killer never goes to jail?


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Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs?


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A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night


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The burglar who fell in the cement mixer


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The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing


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Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?


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What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?


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What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?


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Why was the robber so secure?


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Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner?


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Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners?


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An English prisoner of war


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Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?


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Fred: We had a burglary last night


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Who was the world’s greatest thief?


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Dad,’ said Fred to his father


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What stars go to jail?


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When did the criminal get smart?


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Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?


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What kind of thief steals meat?


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Why did the burglar take a shower?


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What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies?


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t was Christmas and the judge was away


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What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?


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If you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar?


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Did you hear about the calendar thief?


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Judge: Why did you steal that bird?


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A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank


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It’s a pity you’ve gone on hunger strike


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