What’s the difference between a vampire and a cookie?
What’s the difference between a vampire and a cookie?You can’t dip a vampire in your tea.
What’s the difference between a vampire and a cookie?You can’t dip a vampire in your tea.
What do some burger eaters have?A Hardee appetite!
What did they say about the burger who went skiing for the first time?How the meaty have fallen!
What happens when two burgers fall in love?They live together in holy meatrimony!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta.
WIFE: ”You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?” HUSBAND: ”No thanks. I’m too tired. Let’s just eat at home.”
How can you make a soup rich?Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Mother: Why did you say that, Junior?Why did you ask the question?Johnny: It’s because I saw one on daddy’s lettuce, but now it’s gone.
Seriously, when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am, where did it go?Heidelburg-er, Germany!
What are apricots?Where monkeys sleep.
What do cannibals eat for breakfast?Buttered host.
Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
How do the Rolling Stones like their burgers?Plain – Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
What looks just like half a loaf of bread?Its other half.
Jane’s father decided to take all the family out to a restaurant for a meal. As he’d spent quite a lot of money for the meal he said to the waiter, ”Could I have a bag to take the leftovers home for the dog?” ”Gosh!” exclaimed Jane, ”Are we getting a dog?”
Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?They get to meet their old flames!
What food is good for the brain?Noodle soup.
What old-time song is the burgers’ favourite?‘Hammy’ – as sung by Al Jolson!
What is the hamburgers’ most familiar song?‘Home on the Range’!
What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins?They think they are in a pickle.
What can you say about Ham Burger and Chief Justice Warren Burger?Ham Burger is ‘well done’ and Chief Justice Warren Burger has ‘done well’!
Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.
How was the hamburger murdered?First it was ‘rolled,’ then smothered in onions
‘May I take your order?” the waiter asked. ”Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?” ”Nothing special sir,” he replied. ”We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”
What’s red and green and wears boxing gloves?A fruit punch.
What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land?A MEATing of the minds!
Eulus stood in front of the take-out window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. ”I want two hamburgers,” he said. ”One with onions, and one without.” The counter man: ”Okay. Which one’s without the onions?”
How do we know hamburgers have high IQ’s?They ‘loin’ fast!
What are some outstanding hamburger colleges?Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.
Where does a burger go on vacation?The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
‘Can I have some two-handed cheese, please?” a man in a restaurant asked the waiter. ”What do you mean, ‘two-handed cheese’?’ asked the waiter. ”You know, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other.”
If there were no food left, what could people do?Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could have their traffic jams.
How do you make a hamburger green?Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
What sort of soup do skeletons like?One with plenty of body in it.
Would you like a duck egg for supper?Only if you quack it for me.
Who can beat any burger at golf?Any LINKS sausage!
Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. ”Why are we running so fast?” asked one. ”Because,” said the second, ”it says ‘tear along the dotted line’!”
Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don’t tip, either.
Are hamburgers male?Yes, because they’re boygers, not girlgers!
When the crooked hamburger took it on the ‘lamb’, where did it go?Oh, ‘ewe’ know!
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. ”Hey, man,” he said, ”where’s the toilet?” ”Go down the hall and turn left, ”replied the headwaiter. ”When you see the sign marked ‘Gentlemen? pay no attention to it and go right on … Read more