Funny Men and Women Jokes

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?


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Why do men like love at first site?


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I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months! – I don’t like to interrupt her.


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Never before had Sue looked in her husband box


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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


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How do men exercise on the beach?


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How do you lose fourteen stone of fat?


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A young woman with a happy, cheerful voice


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What a woman says: This place is a mess


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A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce


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NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands?


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A guy is down on his luck


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What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?


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Sarah was reading a newspaper


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Why can’t men get mad cow disease?


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Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears


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But let’s get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding?


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Casey married a rich widow


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How do you fix a woman’s watch?


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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage


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She was two thirds married once. What do you mean?


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Why is a modem better than a woman?


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Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women?


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A woman was in court charged with wounding her husband


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Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his mother


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Why do divorced men get married again?


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The couple was dining out when the wife noticed


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A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner


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Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.


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A man and woman where on their honeymoon


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There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men


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A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, ‘Will you buy booze?


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How many men does it take to mop the floor?


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Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really?


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A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?


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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?


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I’ve got trouble with the wife again


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There were three guys in a bar


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John: ‘I’m a man of few words.’ Bill: ‘I’m married, too.’


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Husband: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?


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The local courtroom was packed as testimony


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Wife: Do you think of me when you’re away darling?


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If your wife comes out of the kitchen


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What should you give a man who has everything?


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Old Man On A Bench


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Men are like vacuum cleaners


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A jealous husband hires a private detective to check his wife


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Two confirmed bachelors sat talking


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On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a storm


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