How many Hillary Clintons to change a lightbulb??
Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One–she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One–she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore? A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: ”Good morning, Bill.”
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a ”tragedy”. One little boy stands up and offers ”If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a … Read more
Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One? after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public school, the secret service would be out-gunned!
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.
A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: ”I’d like to become the next President of the United States.” The receptionist: ”What are you, an idiot?” Redneck: ”Why, is it required?”
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. … Read more
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.
Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, ”My dad’s way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitcher’s mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!” One of the other boys … Read more
Q: If Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized, who would be saved? A: The United States of America!
When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a demagogue. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook. When that fool Reagan said that we could end … Read more
Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas movie is ”Miracle on 34th Street.” Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is ”It’s a Wonderful Life.” Right-Wing Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is ”Die Hard.”
Q: How is Clinton’s health care reform a lot like his haircut? A: It is a lot more expensive than it looks.
Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying? A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one.
Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: ”You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy … Read more
Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election. ”I’m not voting for any of the candidates,” the first man said. ”I don’t know any of them.” ”I feel the same way,” the second man said. ”Only I know them all.”
Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs.
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Why are Vampires Democrats?They want Gore in 2000.
Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. They haven’t got a policy on that.
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities. A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one’s knee from jerking. A: None: They can’t remove the old ones since they are … Read more
Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren’t as successful when they’re not on grass.
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Q: Why aren’t Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What’s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn’t carry a briefcase.
The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can’t make death any worse than it is.
Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.
Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?To keep his ankles warm.
Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.
Q: What’s the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president’s spouse, Bill Clinton.
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. ”Ma,” he shouted, ”the results are in. I won the election!” ”Honestly?” The politician’s smiled faded. ”Aw hell, … Read more
Q: What’s a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.
QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Republican Party.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas carol is ”Deck the Halls.” Young Democrat’s favorite Christmas carol is ”Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Republican’s favorite Christmas carol is ”White Christmas.” Young Republicans’ favorite Christmas carol is ”White Christmas.”