Why is the book ‘Women Who Love Too Much’ a disappointment for many men?
Q. Why is the book ”Women Who Love Too Much” a disappointment for many men?A. No phone numbers.
Men Jokes
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?– Because a woman who can’t afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.
What did God say after she made Eve?
What did God say after she made Eve?”Practice makes perfect.”
How are men like television commercials?
Q. How are men like television commercials?A. You can’t believe a word either one of them says, and they both last about 30 seconds.
Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like animals: messy, insensitive and potentially violent
Men are like animals: messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.
Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.
Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.
Question: If a man speaks in the forest
Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
How can you tell if a man is cheating on you?
How can you tell if a man is cheating on you?He has a bath more than once a month.
What’s the best way to kill a man?
Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men? one was a woman. They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn’t, the rope would break and all of them would die. No … Read more
A woman wants to lose weight
Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband … Read more
How many men does it take to make popcorn?
How many men does it take to make popcorn?Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.
The difference between men and women
The difference between men and women A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, ”PIG!” The man immediately leans out his window and replies, ”Stupid!” They each continue on their way, and … Read more
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she … Read more
Men are like bike helmets
Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
A man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman
Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman? A: Desperate!
Why is it so hard for women to find men
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Q. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
why don’t men do laundry?
why don’t men do laundry?cause the washer and dryer don’t run on remote control!
How are men like noodles?
How are men like noodles?They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.
Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.
What do you do if your bank account stops working?
What do you do if your bank account stops working?Throw the guy out of the house.
Men are like fine wine
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
I stopped driving 10 years ago
This man says to his friend,” I stopped driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit there and hold the wheel.”
Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone
Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? A: Women working at 900 numbers.
Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Why did God create a man before a women?
Why did God create a man before a women?You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
A man who has lost 95% of his brainpower
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?A widower.
Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future?A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Now do you save a man from drowning?
Now do you save a man from drowning?Take your foot off his head.
Men are like soap operas
Men are like soap operas. They’re fun to watch, but don’t believe everything you hear.
Why do men like smart women?
Q. Why do men like smart women?A. Opposites attract.
Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.
Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.
A woman who knows where her husband is every night
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?A. A widow.
What’s the difference between a man and E.T.?
What’s the difference between a man and E.T.?E.T. phoned home.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What is the thinnest book in the world?What Men Know About Women.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?Exchange him.
What does it mean to come home to a man who’ll give you some love and tenderness?
What does it mean to come home to a man who’ll give you some love and tenderness?You’re in the wrong house.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?A. So they can find their way back to the house.
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls God
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, ”Lord, I have a problem!” ”What’s the problem, Eve?” ”Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.” ”Why is that, Eve?” came the … Read more
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?No one knows, it’s never happened.
Men don’t get lost?
Men don’t get lost? they discover alternative destinations.
Men are like curling irons. They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
Men are like curling irons. They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?A. A power failure.
Why do little boys whine?
Why do little boys whine?Because they’re practicing to be men.