What was the favorite game at the ghosts’ birthday party? Hide and shriek! campaign970
Question: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? Answer: By giving their mistresses free breast implants!
Question: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? Answer: Because you can’t drink and derive…
Question: Did you hear about the cracker’s Christmas party? A. It was a BANG!
Question: What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party? A. ”Let’s get glowing.”
Question: Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party? A. Because everyone was a goblin!
What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation.
Question: What does an actuary do to liven up a party? A. He invites an accountant.
A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: ”That’s his problem.”
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: ”What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. ”Try to fix it if it’s big? ignore it if it’s insignificant,” replied the lawyer. ”What do you do?” lawyer asked. ”Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you … Read more
What are your two favourite times to party?Daytime and night-time!
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?”Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo
Who did the ghost invite to his party?Anyone he could dig up.
How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party?Look for his footprints in the ice cream.
‘Are you a member of any organized political party?” ”No. I’m a Republican.”
FIRST MONSTER: I’m going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you?FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends.
What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?The cat ate her.
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. ”Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,” the husband explained. ”She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts.” He continued, ”She communicates well and … Read more
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?No one moved. They couldn’t stir without her.
What are cows favorite party games?MOO-sical chairs!
SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party?PIGLET: I’d rather have three cakes and one candle.
Ghost: Are you coming to my party?Spook: Where is it?Ghost: In the morgue – you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.
A small boy was asked by his teacher, ”What is the size of the Democratic Party?” ”About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. ”NO!” exploded the teacher.. ”I mean, how MANY members does it have?How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?” ”Well,” replied the boy, ”my father is 6 feet tall and every … Read more
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. He immediately began paying her court and flattering her. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when, after 30 minutes, he seriously proposed marriage. ”Look,” she reacted. … Read more
Will you come to my party on Saturday?Yes, please, What’s the address?25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow?Well, you won’t be empty-handed, will you!
‘I’m giving a ‘surprised’ birthday party for you.” ”A ‘surprised’. birthday party?What’s that?” ”That’s where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I’ll be surprised!”
At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: ‘Is this pig?’ Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: ‘Which end of the … Read more
Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party ?It was a scream !
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away … Read more
Party Host: Hello?Phone Caller: I’m trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her?Party Host: I’d be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?
What happened to the ghost who went to a party?He had a wail of a time.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?Coop-cakes !
Q: What kinds of people don’t get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
What is a horses favourite kind of party?A stall ball.
Girl 1: ”Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?” Girl 2: ”Sure. The more, the scarier!”
What happened at the cannibal’s wedding party?They toasted the bride and groom.
First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday?Second boy: No, I’m having a witch do. First boy: What’s a witch do?Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.
What sort of dance do fish do at parties ?The conga !
What do young female monsters do at parties ?They go around looking for edible bachelors !
Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ?SandrA: No, I ain’t. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain’t. It’s I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. SandrA: Blimey, ain’t nobody coming ?
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet over his head. ”Are you here as a ghost?” asked his friends. ”No,” he replied, ”I’m an unmade bed.” Another boy wore a sheet over his head. ”Are you an unmade bed?” asked his friends. ”No, I’m an undercover agent,” he replied.
What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?Invite an accountant.
Conversation between two accountants at a cocktail party: ”…….and ninthly…”
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?He was going as a banana.
What political party entices most Gorillas?The Treepublican Party!
Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?He heard they were having upside-down cake!
Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?Because there’s lots of school spirit!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?Angel food cake, of course!
At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy’s ear. ”There!” he said proudly. ”I bet your Mum can’t produce eggs without hens, can she?” ”Oh yes, she can,” said the boy. ”She keeps ducks.”