Question: What’s the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone. A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.
Question: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men? Answer: He thought it was a delivery service.
Question: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? A. Stuck!
What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?A wake-up call!
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?
How can you tell if someone who’s having a temper tantrum is on the phone?You get a tizzy signal!
How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?You get a buzzy signal.
Why did the alien phone home on his mobile?Because it was so ET !
How can you tell if someone who’s just had a perm is on the phone?You get a frizzy signal!
A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, ”Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas?I’ll be home in 1 hour to pick … Read more
Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China? A: Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone’s always Winging the Wong number.
Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a chinese phone book
Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book?They all have phones.
What kind of phone makes music?A saxophone.
How does a door chime answer the phone?Bella?
How does a football player make phone calls?On a touch-down phone.
What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash?Tele-Scope.
How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?Collect!
What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?A party line!
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. ”Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!” ”The cups man! Save the cups!” cries George. ”Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”
The phone in Rigby’s Georgia farmhouse rang one evening. When he answered, the operator said, ”This is long distance from Chicago.” ”I knowed it’s a long distance from Chicago!” answered the farmer. ”How come you called to tell me that?”
One day the counsellor got a phone call. It was from a camper who had been at camp the summer before. The old camper said, ‘I thought of camp yesterday.’ ‘Why?’ the counsellor asked. ‘Where were you?’ ‘At the garbage dump!’ the old camper answered.
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said ”File not found”. I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, ”Well it says autoexec, then there’s some spaces, but no dot, and … Read more
Wife: Who was that on the phone?Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say?Husband: He asked if the coast was clear…
How does a baboon make phone calls?He just monkeys around on the line!
How does a cheerleader answer the phone?H-E-L-L-O!
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?Money’s tight these days!
What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?LO
How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone?Mellow.
Mother: Why was the phone busy all night?Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Alka ! Alka who ! Alka-phone !
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: ”Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult – I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. ”Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was … Read more
How does a barber make phone calls?He cuts them short.
What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?”Who said talk is cheap?”
Tad answered the Tennessee State frat house phone. ”Hi,” said the voice, ”this is Rollie. Come on over, we’re having a real wildass party.” ”Shit, Ah’d shore love to,” said Tad, ”but Ah got me a bad case of gonorrhea.” ”Bring it along!” answered Rollie. ”The way thangs is goin’, mah buddies’ll drink anythin’!”
What do ghosts use to phone home?A terror-phone.
A man speaks frantically into the phone, ”My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” ”Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. ”No, you idiot!” the man shouts. ”This is her *husband*!”
Caller: Operator! Operator! I don’t know what’s wrong with my phone, but I can’t make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don’t worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!
Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? A: Women working at 900 numbers.
When does a horse talk on the phone?Whinny wants to!
Who was that on the phone, Fred?Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !
What do you call an elephant in a phone box?Stuck.
What kind of music do phones love to hear?A symphony
Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?Yellow?
Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
‘Hello?” the blonde responded answering the phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, ”Hello?” ”I’ll bet you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you until dawn.” the male voice whispered. ”Scheesch! You’re good.” she replied. ”You … Read more
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. ”You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!” ”What’s he doing with the apples?” the sergeant asked. ”If I told you,” the woman cried, ”you wouldn’t believe … Read more
How does a baritone make phone calls?Song distance!