Question: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping? Answer: So his guests won’t be accompanied by guardians!
Question: What do bulls do when they go shopping? Answer: They CHARGE!
Question: What is the difference between a CPA and a shopping cart? A. A CPA holds more beverage.
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, ”Darling, its my mother’s birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?She would like something electric.” The husband replied, ”How about a chair?!?”
A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn’t I see you on a TV commercial?How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?
A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had … Read more
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don’t admit it.
The Englishman’s, Irishman’s and Scotsman’s wives go shopping one day to a big department store. While they are there a fire breaks out. Everyone in the store is killed, including the three women. Their husbands are summoned to the local police station where a policewoman breaks the news to them: ”I’m afraid sirs, that we … Read more
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, … Read more
I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her?A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!
‘Did you go shopping for my birthday present?” ”Yeah, and I found the perfect thing.” ”What thing is that?” ”Nothing!”
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, ”I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get … Read more
I was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, ”Paper or plastic?” ”It doesn’t matter,” she replied, … ”I’m bisacksual.
Why did God invent shopping carts?To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.
Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. ”Please state the nature of your emergency,” says the operator. ”Help! My house is on fire!” the blonde replies. ”Okay, where do you live?” ”In a house you … Read more
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, ”I wonder why?” The blonde replied, ”Must be because the oil would suffocate them.”
When is the best time to go shopping?When the stores are open.