Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. ”Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Mary Agnes, ”What should … Read more
Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?Because she wanted to get rich milk.
Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn’t know who it was from.
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she’s invisible! What sister?
Why did your sister shoot the alarm clock ?Because she felt like killing time.
Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back. Will: Pity it’s not on her head.
Do you like your new baby sister?She’s all right. Do you play with her?No, and we can’t even send her back because she’s been here more than 28 days.
Sister: Why are you putting the saddle on backward ?Brother: How do you know which way I’m going ?
Why did your sister jump out the window ?Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit
My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her !
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. ”Father!” she cried, ”just WAIT until you hear this!” The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, ” Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?” … Read more
Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift! Well tell her to come in I can’t she doesn’t stop at this floor!
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. ‘ Sis,’ he said, ‘I wish you’d sing Christmas carols.’ ‘That’s nice of you, Alfie,’ she replied. ‘Why ?’ ‘Then I’d only have to hear you once a year !’
My sister went on a crash diet. Is that why she looks a wreck ?
Doctor, Doctor! my sister thinks she’s an elevator. Tell her to come in. I can’t. She doesn’t stop at this floor.
Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That’s nothing. My sister’s tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she’s posted it.
Mother: Jared, get your little sister’s hat out of that puddle. Jared: I can’t mum, she’s got it strapped too tight under her chin!
Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ?Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ?Witch: No I wouldn’t. Wizard: No, well nor will she.
My sister fell in love at second sight. When she first met him she didn’t know how rich he was.
Mary: Do you think my sister’s pretty ?Gary: Well, let’s just say if you pulled her pigtail she’d probably say ‘oink, oink ‘!
Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.
My sister’s a really bad driver. What makes you say that?Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she’s run over.
Do you like my new baby sister ?The stalk bought her. Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head.
Sister: Mom wants you to come in and help fix dinner. Brother: Why?Is it broken?
Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?Because she’d never be able to learn the language
Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister?I’d much rather have a jelly baby.
Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so?Fred: Yes. It’s so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she’s stopped laughing her face is still smiling!
My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.
Michael: It’s hard for my sister to eat. Maureen: Why ?Michael: She can’t bear to stop talking.
Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. ”What’s that for?” she asked. ”To make me beautiful,” came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. ”Doesn’t work, does it?” was her comment.
Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?Because she wants to rise and shine.
Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?Yes, that’s right. Well, I don’t blame God for chucking her out.
Did you hear about the time Eddy’s sister tried to make a birthday cake ?The candles melted in the oven.
Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister’s fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No, I’m not coming out. She’s going to have to learn to look after herself.
Do robots have sisters ?No, just transistors !
I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn’t say whether it’s a boy or girl. So I don’t know if I’m an uncle or an aunt.