Question: How does Al Gore get to sleep? Answer: He counts ballot papers.
Question: How does Obama sleep? Answer: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Question: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? Answer: A water bed!
Question: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? Answer: So he could have sweet dreams.
Question: Why do social workers refuse to sleep with economists? Answer: They have learned its a sunk cost.
If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say?”Darling, could you tell me about your work.”
Why did the dog sleep so poorly?By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake Sleep in another room then!
Where does King Kong sleep?Anywhere he wants to.
FARMER: Did you sleep well last night?GUEST: No, the bed was soft and the air was fresh, but an old sow kept pushing at the door. FARMER: Never mind her. She always gets upset when we rent out her room.
‘Do you love me more than you love sleep?” ”I can’t answer now. It’s time for my nap!”
When Mr. Maxwell’s wife left him he couldn’t sleep. ”She took the bed!”
In a survey of American women, when asked, ”Would you sleep with President Clinton?” 86% replied, ”Not again”
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep ?A dinosnore !
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?A knight light
How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?She reads them pig tales.
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?You rock-et.
Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?On a bed of lettuce!
What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?Cot-on-wool.
Q. Where do fish sleep?A. In a river bed
When Mr Maxwell’s wife left him, he couldn’t sleep. Why was that?She had taken the bed.
Doctor, Doctor, I can’t get to sleep. Sit on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off.
When do computers go to sleep?When it’s internight.
Why did the cat sleep under the car ?Because she wanted to wake up oily !
How did Columbus’s men sleep on their ships ?With their eyes shut !
Sonny: I can’t sleep. What should I do?Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you’ll be sure to drop off!
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can’t sleep in my class. Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
What pill would you give to an elephant that can’t sleep ?Trunkquilizers !
What does a cat go to sleep on ?A caterpillow !
Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!
How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.