Question: What do you call a snake after it drinks three cups of coffee? Answer: A hyper boa.
Question: What’s the difference between a dead actor in the road and a dead snake in the road? Answer: Skid marks in front of the snake.
What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ?Stop crying and viper your nose !
What’s the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ?You can make a pet out of a snake !
What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ?Chimney Cricket !
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake? Someone else’s!
What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?A bouncing baby boa !
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ?Addercadabra and abradacobra !
What do you call a snake who works for the governement ?A civil serpent !
What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ?He died in agony !
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?A boar constrictor !
What do most people do when they see a python ?They re-coil !
What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?Thanks, I’ll just have a sliver !
What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?Sleep in the wardrobe.
What’s a python’s favourite pop group ?Squeeze !
What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?Thank you, I’ll just have a slither.
Did you hear about the stupid snake?He lost his skin.
What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball?A bouncing baby boa.
Have you heard about the slippery eel ?Didn’t think so, you wouldn’t be able to grasp it !sna
What’s the best thing about deadly snakes ?They’ve got poisonality !
Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?Because they had a crush on each other !sna
Why are snakes hard to fool ?They have no legs to pull !
Which snakes are found on cars?Windscreen vipers.
What’s long, green and goes hith ?A snake with a lisp !
What do snakes have on their bath towels ?Hiss and Hers !
What did the snake say when another asked him the time ?Don’t asp me !
What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters?With love and hisses.
Why did the viper, viper nose ?Because the adder, adder hankerchief !
What do you get if you cross a glow-worm with a python?A twenty-foot-long strip-light that can squeeze you to death.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?Wait until he’s finished.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?Fang mail.
What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ?A viper !
What did one snake say to another ?Hiss off !
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python. Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know.
Why can’t you trust snakes ?They speak with forked tongues !
How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake?It has a rattle.
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ?Someone else’s !
Why wouldn’t the snake go on the weighing maching ?Because he had his own scales !
What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?Poison by Christian Dior !
What’s a snake’s favourite food ?Hiss Cakes !
What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ?A fangfurter !sna
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, ”You’re soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit.” The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, ”You’re slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. … Read more
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. ”Doc, I need something for my eyes…can’t see well these days”. The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed. Doc says, ”What’s the … Read more
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?A boa constructor !
What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?Stop crying and viper your nose.
What do you call a snake that informs the police ?A grass snake !
What’s a snakes favourite TV program ?Monty Python!
What do you give a sick snake ?Asp-rin !
What did the snake say to the cornered rat ?Hiss is the end of the line for you !