Question: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house? A. A wide scream TV.
What is the cat’s favourite TV show ?The evening mews !
A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, ”How is much is this TV?” The salesman said, ”Sorry, we don”t sell to blondes.” The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, ”Sorry, we don”t sell to blondes.” The next day she came … Read more
Son to his father as they watch television: ”Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel.”
Neighbour: Haven’t I seen you on TV?Actor: Well, I do appear, on and off, you know. How do you like me?Neighbour: Off.
What TV game show do fish like best?Name that tuna!
One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, ”If I died, would you remarry?” Peter thought for a second then said ”Yeah I guess I would”. Then his the wife asked, ”well would you have her as your golfing partner?” Peter replied, ”yep I probably would do that … Read more
Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.
Why does a rooster watch TV ?For hentertainment !
Who do hamburgers love on TV?Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, the meathead!
Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show ?Whale of fortune !
What is a spiders favourite TV show ?The newly web game !
The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host What happened?He turned out to be a big boar.
What is a black cat’s favourite TV show ?Miami Mice !
Q. How are men like television commercials?A. You can’t believe a word either one of them says, and they both last about 30 seconds.
My wife asked me ”What’s on the TV?” – I said, ”Dust!”
What is a horses favourite TV show?Neeeebours
When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?During PRIME time!
What’s a rabbits’ favorite TV show?Hoppy Days.
There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar and the audio of the NOAA weather radio station. When explaining why he knew he should go into meteorology, he said that when he was young, he would sometimes watch the channel even when there were no echoes, just … Read more
What TV station do bees watch ?Bee bee c one!
Why didn’t the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his own?He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Blonic Woman.
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. ”I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said the first guy. ”Bet you $10 he won’t,” said the second guy. Then, the guy on … Read more
What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ?Gnus – readers !
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.
What is a duck’s favorite TV show ?The feather forecast !
Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
Yo mamas so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 3 commercials.
A husband and wife are in bed watching ”Who Wants to be a Millionaire”. The husband asks for sex. The wife says, ”No.” > Her husband asks, ”Is that your final answer?” > She responds, ”Yes.” He says, ”Then, I’d like to call a friend.”
What is the most breathless thing on television ?The Pink Panter Show !
What’s a snakes favourite TV program ?Monty Python!
What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who acted on a TV show?Welcome back, Cutter!
What is a witch’s favourite TV show?Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!
What is a cow’s favourite TV show ?Dr Moo !
A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: ”Old MacDonald had a …” The Indianan said, ”Old MacDonald had a carburetor.” ”Sorry,” said the MC. ”That’s incorrect.” ”Old MacDonald had a flat tire,” said the Kentuckian. ”Wrong,” said the host. … Read more
Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows?It’s the VCRdvard
Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. ”if I ever stop hating girls,” said one to the other, ”I think I’ll stop hating her first.”
Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches?It’s called The Hex-Files.
My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact ”cheating” on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, ”Well not so much to find out who the other … Read more
Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election. ”I’m not voting for any of the candidates,” the first man said. ”I don’t know any of them.” ”I feel the same way,” the second man said. ”Only I know them all.”
What is a whale’s favorite TV show?Flukes of Hazard!
yo mama so stupid..she sits on the t.v and watches the couch