Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity.
Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!
I wouldn’t say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty’s skin deep then they were was born inside out!
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ”Wow, is it Halloween already?”
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph?A witch in a high speed train.
What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ?A witch with a blindfold !
Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there’s nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don’t like them being pulled.
What’s big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass?A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?- Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be M&M’s
Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn’t pretty and wasn’t ugly ?She was pretty ugly
What do you call a huge, ugly, slobbering, furry monster with cotton wool in his ears?Anything you like ?he can’t hear you.
Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman? A: Desperate!
What did the really ugly man do for a living?He posed for Halloween masks.
Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man? A: Stupid!
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?I’d put a curse on you – but somebody beat me to it!
Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don’t worry, I don’t expect anyone will notice.
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said ”What a treasure!” and her father said ”Yes, let’s go bury it.”
Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Doctor Doctor I’m so ugly what can I do about it?Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!
I’m not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that’s the problem – you don’t please anyone.
Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!
Yo mama so ugly she got beat up by her imaginary friends
What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone’s forehead?Unsightly facial hare!
Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I’m ugly! Lay on the couch, face down.
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said ”Sorry, no professionals.”
She’s so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.
Fred: What’s that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders?Harry: Help! What is it?Fred: Your head!
Yo mama is so ugly the government moved halloween to her birthday.
Monster: I’m so ugly. Ghost: It’s not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.
Doctor, doctor, I’m so ugly. What can I do about it?Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.
Yo mama so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Teacher: You’ve been e-mailing other pupils that I’m ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn’t realise you wanted to keep it a secret.
Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly?Director: Let’s just say she’d look better on radio than on TV.
Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Your ugly. And you’re drunk. Yes, but in the morning I’ll be sober !
Girlfriend: Will you love me when I’m old and fat and ugly?Boyfriend: Of course I do !