Obama’s wedding anniversary was Wednesday and that was the same day as the debate. He apparently ahd the sex first and was completely spent, had nothing left. –Bill Maher
Question: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Answer: Because they cantaloupe.
The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an usher, was having a great time with other members of the wedding party. His wife, Betty was not. ”Don’t be to mad at Dave,” a friend told her. ”He did a terrific job. I’d be glad to have him usher at my … Read more
Two men were remembering their wedding days. ”It was dreadful,” said Fred. ”I got the most terrible fright.” ”What happened?” asked Harry. ”I married her,” replied Fred.
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?One less drunk.
Today is my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Really?Yes, I’ve been married twenty-five times!
Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring… Wedding ring… Suffering!!!
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. ”Well,” explained the husband, ”it all goes back to our honeymoon. … Read more
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. ”Mom,” she said, ”I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy.” The mother took a deep breath and began, ”When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing…” ”I know how to … Read more
Where did the burgers go after their wedding?On a bun-eymoon!
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ”You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. ”Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d … Read more
What did Bill Gate’s wife say to him on their wedding night?No wonder you called the company Microsoft
Marriage is a three ring circus: – Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
What happened at the cannibal’s wedding party?They toasted the bride and groom.
Q: How do you know when you’re at a hillbilly wedding? A: Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.
At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, ”I was just trying to be a good ring bear.”
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. ”Reverend,” she wailed, ”John and I had a DREADFUL fight!” ”Calm down, my child,” said the minister, ”it’s not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!” ”I know, I know!” said Joanna, ”but what am I … Read more
A mother and her child were at a wedding. A little boy looks at his mom and says, ”Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, ”The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, ”Well then, … Read more
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?Because she never marries the best man.
For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, ”This was the most wonderful gift I could have … Read more
Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?Because in the last analysis she just couldn’t see it!
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, ”Mom, why are wedding dresses white?” The mother looks at her son and replies, ”Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure.” The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, ”Dad, why are wedding dresses white?” The … Read more
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He’s the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, ”Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, ”The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, ”Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
Where do rabbits go after their wedding?On their bunnymoon.
After wedding a young couple rented a town house in a large complex. Concerned about a leak in an upstairs bathroom, young woman called the manager several times, but nothing happened. Finally her husband reached the manager and, noting the seriousness of the problem, said, ” My wife is afraid the bathtub will fall through … Read more