What did the fireman’s wife get for Christmas ?A ladder in her stocking !
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, ”Who the hell was that?” ”Oh,” replies the husband, ”she’s my … Read more
My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, ”If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!”
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stops by his office. As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitating, he begins to dictated a letter… ”And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
‘Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?” she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. ”I don’t know, but I promise I’ll never do it again.”
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got … Read more
‘And how’s yer wife, Pat?” ”Sure, she do be awful sick.” ”Is ut dangerous she is?” ”No, she’s too weak t’ be dangerous anymore!”
‘Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?” ”Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around.”
What did Santa Claus’s wife say during a thunderstorm?‘Come and look at the rain, dear.’
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn’t comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet. … Read more
Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, ”You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The wife simply sighed and replied, ”Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn’t really notice.”
First cannibal: My wife’s a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.
Hey, you just shot my wife. I’m so sorry, have a shot at mine !
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, ”I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” ”She did,” he replied. ”But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?”
What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car?Stop beating a dead hearse!
Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: ”He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”
An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy something. ”Well, my wife ain’t home, she’s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemma … Read more