Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye’s baby ‘North West’ I will be naming my first son ‘Taco’.
Question: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? Answer: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm
Question: What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror? Answer: Gee-Om-A-Tree.
Question: What does Woody Allen call an unborn baby? Answer: A blind date.
Question: What do you call a rodent with babies? Answer: A quad-rat-ic parent.
Question: Why did the baby strawberry cry? Answer: Because his parents were in a jam!
Question: Who gives presents to baby sharks? A. Santa Jaws.
Question: Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work? A. A scare centre!
Question: Why did the baby chick cross the road? A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.
Question: What’s the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a baby elephant? Answer: Eleven pounds.
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ?Stop crying and viper your nose !
Who held the baby octopus to ransom ?Squidnappers !
Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit’s new baby?She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.
Why is a baby like an diamond?Because it’s a dear little thing.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn’t get his way?He whale-d
Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, ” my wife was reading a ”tale of two cities” and she gave birth to twins” ”That’s funny”, the second man remarked, ”my wife was reading ‘the three musketeers’ and she gave birth to triplets” The third man shouted, ”Good God, I … Read more
Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world?She didn’t push the pram – she pulled it.
Little Johnny ‘s next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny’s parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say … Read more
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?To the calf-ateria!
Why is an old car like a baby playing?Because it goes with a rattle.
Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?A cub reporter.
What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ?Six weeks old !
Why are babies always gurgling with joy?Because it’s a nappy time.
Why couldn’t the baby camel surf the Internet?Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.
Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. ”Say,” said Dewey, ”Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin’ ta night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?” ”Uh huh,” answered Odell. ”We went and adopted us a little Mexican baby, and we wanna be able ta understand him when he gets old enough … Read more
What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.
How did the witch almost lose her baby?She didn’t take it far enough into the woods.
What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball?A bouncing baby boa.
Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?Because they can’t dress themselves.
Do you like your new baby sister?She’s all right. Do you play with her?No, and we can’t even send her back because she’s been here more than 28 days.
What does a baby computer call his father?Data.
It can’t go on! It can’t go on! What can’t go on?This baby’s vest ?it’s too small for me.
A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther down the road a family of skunks were walking the other way when the same 18-wheeler ran over all but one baby. The duck and the skunk finally met each other and the duck said, ”Excuse … Read more
My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he’s healthy.
Zoo visitor: What’s the new baby hippo’s name?Hippopotamus keeper: I don’t know, he won’t tell me.
What are baby witches called?Halloweenies.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?Santa Jaws !
What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?‘Dad, dad, look what marma-laid’ !
Q: What’s pink and red and can’t turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: ”That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and … Read more
What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ?Out of the way !
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Baby Owl ! Baby Owl who ?Baby Owl see you later, maybe I won’t !
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?Mother Rabbit: I’ll tell you when you’re older. Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now. Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician’s hat.
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?You rock-et.
What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ?A cry for Alp !
How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake?It has a rattle.
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when … Read more
What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ?Infantry !