Question: What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank? A. A cab.
Q How many central bank economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: Just one — he holds the lightbulb and the whole earth revolves around him.
A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr. Paddywack, the loan officer. Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says, ”What do you have for collateral?” The frog pulls out of his pocket a solid silver elephant. Mr. Paddywack looks at the … Read more
The blonde was at the blood bank and sold a pint of blood. As she was leaving counting her $25, a man was leaving counting his money. He had $40. She asked if he had some rare blood type that he got more than she did. He said no, that he had donated sperm. The … Read more
Bank manager: I’m sorry, sir, you can’t open an account with this sort of money. They’re wooden pieces! Lumberjack: But I only want to open a shavings account.
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to … Read more
Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly?They squealed on each other.
Why did the bank robber take a bath?So he could make a clean getaway.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
If you need a loan, who do you see in the bank?The Loan Arranger (Lone Ranger).
Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan?Fred: ‘Cuz there’s money in it, sir.
A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the frog what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand. ”What’s that?” asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So, Mr. Paddywack took the frog in to … Read more
Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to cash his check. Since he didn’t have an account there, the teller asked if he could identify himself. ”Sure,” said Izzard. ”There a mirror around here?” ”There’s one on the wall right beside you,” said the clerk. Izzard took a glance in the mirror and heaved a sigh … Read more
A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, ”I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.” The banker said, ”Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.”
Why can’t you keep secrets in a bank?Because of all the tellers.
Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river and smoke dope. A crocodile comes out of the river: – Hey pals, let me have a whiff. – Get lost, oh green one! – Come on guys, just one! – Go %@~# yourself! So what would you do?Well, the crocodile swallows Piglet and sits … Read more
Our bank manager can’t ride a bike any more. Why not?He lost his balance.
What do you do if your bank account stops working?Throw the guy out of the house.
Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: ”Don’t Walk.”
What’s the best way to increase the size of your bank balance?Look at it through a magnifying glass.
A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, ”This is a muck up!” ”Don’t you mean a stick up?” asked the girl. ”No,” said the robber, ”it’s a muckup. I’ve forgotten my gun.”
Why are there so many piggy banks?Pigs don’t like to hide their money in the mattress.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
What is the bank manager’s favourite type of football?Fiver side!
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?Bunny and Clyde.
Who robs banks and squirts ink?Billy the Squid.
At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, ”He got away, sir!” The inspector was furious. ”But I told you to put a man on all the exits!” he roared. ”How could he have got away?” ”He left by one of the entrances, sir!”
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s … Read more
A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, ”You can go home now.”
Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors? A: A superior being.
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the … Read more
A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ said a cashier, ‘the loan arranger is out to lunch.’ ‘Can I speak to Tonto, then?’ asked the man.