President Obama released his long-form birth certificate, proving once and for all he was born in this country. But you know, it never ends. Now Republican leaders are saying they want to see the placenta. –Jay Leno
President Obama released his long-form birth certificate yesterday. So we found the birth certificate. Now it’s on to bin Laden. –David Letterman, joking two days before bin Laden was killed
Question: Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate? Answer: He accidently smoked it.
Question: How was Frankenstien’s birth? A. Shocking.
Question: What does an accountant use for birth control? A. His personality.
Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality.
Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins? A: She couldn’t figure out who the other mother was.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Are birth control pills deductible?Only if they don’t work.
Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes? A: They take off their makeup.
What does an accountant use for birth control?His personality.
‘Will the father be present during the birth?” asked the obstetrician. ”Nah,” replied the mother-to-be, ”He and my husband don’t get along.”
If George Raft’s wife gave birth to twin Gorillas, would they be the Apes of Raft?
Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband’s … Read more
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.