What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette? Brown-bagging it.
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an ”away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how … Read more
The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. … Read more
Q. How did a blind woman drive herself crazy?A. Trying to read a stucco wall.
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, ”Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, ”Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the … Read more
Q: How did a blind man drive his car? A: One hand on the wheel? the other on the road.
What is a double-blind study?Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?One can’t see to go, the other can’t go to sea.
Did you hear about the blind porcupine?He fell in love with a pincushion!
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. ”There is a blind man to see you,” she says. ”Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.” The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother … Read more
There were those three guys, a priest, a doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the group before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours. Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow?He was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved … Read more
What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ?A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !
Yo mama’s like the sun you look at her to long you will go blind!
Where do blind parrots go for treatment?The Birds Eye counter!
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: ”I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with … Read more
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a dog stopped and cocked its leg against him. The blind man felt in his pocket for a sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog. A passerby remarked what a very kind act that was considering what the dog had done. ”Not at … Read more
Q: How did a blind man meet his wife? A: On a blind date!
Where do blind sparrows go for treatment ?The Birds Eye counter !
Q. How did a blind girl burn her fingers?A. Reading the waffle iron
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for?He can’t see my license plate.
Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus.
Q: How did a blind man get poke marks on his face? A: Learning to eat with a fork.
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, ”You’re soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit.” The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, ”You’re slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. … Read more
A blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender ”Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke? The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next … Read more
Two blind man at a cinemA: ”Can you see something ?” ”No”. ”Then let’s go in front !”
Q: What did a blind boy’s parent’s do to punish him? A: Rearranged the furniture
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, ”What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, ”Just looking around.”
If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?
One day two blind men started fighting. Pretty soon a crowd surrounded them. Then one of the members of the crowd yelled out ”I bet 10 bucks on the one with the knife.” Both men ran away.
My boyfriend thinks I’m beautiful Well they do say that love is blind !
Q: What do you call a blind German? A: A Not See (Nazi)
Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!
How do you make a Venetian blind?Poke him in the eye
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, ”Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, ”Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer … Read more
Why are bats blind?Well, your eyesight wouldn’t be too good if you hung upside down all day would it?
Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend? A: ”Funny, you don’t feel Jewish.”
Q: Why don’t blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog.
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A: It’s not hard.
Q: Why was a blind man’s leg wet? A: Her dog was blind too.
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given … Read more
Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler.
Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur’s Dog? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.