Question: What happened to the plant in math class? Answer: It grew square roots.
Question: What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom? Answer: The quadratic formal.
Question: What did the ghost teacher say to his class? A. ”Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!”
Question: Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room? A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Question: Why did the student bring scissors to class? A. He wanted to cut class!
Question: Why didn’t the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test? A. Because he didn’t want anything to slip his mind.
Question: What did the ghost teacher say to her class? A. ”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
Question: Why was the big hairy , two-headed monster top of the class in school? A. Because two heads are better than one.
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. ‘Alec !’ yelled the teacher, ‘you’ve done nothing. Why?’ ‘Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do !’
ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, ”I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one … Read more
Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she’s top of the class. Father: That’s why I think it must be a terrible class.
Why did the piglets get in trouble in their stained glass class?They stained it with mud.
Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class ?Pupil: My mother won’t let me do it at home !
Why was the big, hairy, two-headed monster top of the class at school?Because two heads are better than one.
The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. ”Jackie,” she asked, ”can you count to 10 without mistakes?” ”Yes,” said Jackie, and she did. ”Now, Fred,” said the teacher, ”can you count from 10 to 20?” ”That depends,” said Fred, ”with or without mistakes”!
Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone !
Fred’s class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. ”Did you enjoy yourself?” asked her mother when she got home. ”Oh, yes,” replied Fred. ”But it was funny going to a dead zoo.”
Little Johnny’s class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, ”it was so nice of you to put my daddy’s picture up there.”
Why did the pig join a muscle-building class?He thought ”pumping iron” was a new juice dispenser.
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he … Read more
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. ”In English,” he said, ”A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the … Read more
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A … Read more
One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence. So Janet raised her hand and said the sky is absolutely blue, the teacher said no, it is not, sometimes is black or has different colors. Another little boy raised his hand and said ”the leaves on the trees are absolutely … Read more
Little Tommy’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, ”The 10 Most Wanted.” One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ”Yes,” said the … Read more
Are you in the top half of your class ?No, I’m one of the students who make the top half possible !
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. ”Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, ”What is the opposite of joy?” ”Sadness,” said the student. And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. ”Elation,” said she. ”And you sir,” he said … Read more
‘Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes,” said the gym teacher. ”Fred! What are you doing?Move your feet, boy.” ”I’m freewheeling, sir.”
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can’t sleep in my class. Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, ”What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?” After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: ”Sin?”
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence. The professor presented the following logic: ”Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke. ”Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke. ”Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the third time, he … Read more
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?Class: At once!
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a ”tragedy”. One little boy stands up and offers ”If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a … Read more
I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip?– A: To a mewseum.
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: ”Is this a question?” – Discuss. After a short time he wrote: ”If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an ”A” on the exam. A Boston … Read more
Why did the piglets get in trouble in their biology class?They ate all the specimens.
The math teacher saw that little Jimmy wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Jimmy! what are 24, 11, 4 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “ESPN, FOX, NBC and the Nickelodeon!” campaign970