Question: 100 Women Surveyed, Would you have sex with Bill Clinton? Answer: 80% said not again.
Question: Did you hear about the 11th Commandment Hilary Clinton introduced? A. Thou shall not expose thy rod to thy staff
Question: How can you tell you’ve just had sex with Bill Clinton? A. You’ve got french fries in your hair, and Vernon Jordan is handing you a job application.
Question: How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down? Answer: He married her.
Question: How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history? Answer: The President after Bush
Obama joked this week that Bill Clinton, who has been campaigning for him, should be appointed to the role of Secretary of Explaining Stuff. Hey, you know what’s another good name for that position? President. –Seth Meyers
Question: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton? Answer: His face.
Question: What does Bill Clinton and a country folk dancer have in common? Answer: They both throw a ho down.
Question: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa Claus? Answer: Some people still believe in Santa Claus.
Question: What was Hilary Clinton’s last gift to Monica? A. Spot remover.
Question: What will Bill Clinton be known as when he leaves the White House? A. The President after Bush Question: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
Question: What’s Bill Clinton’s idea of safe sex? Answer: When Hillary is out of town.
Question: Why did Bill Clinton name his new dog Buddy? Answer: He couldn’t bear to say ”Come Spot… Come Spot!”
Question: Why did Bill Clinton quit the saxophone? A. So he could play that Hoarmonica
Question: Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone? Answer: He was too busy playing the hormonica.
Question: Why did all the faggots vote for Clinton? Answer: Because faggots like assholes better than Bush.
Question: Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? A. To keep his ankles warm.
Question: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning? Answer: She wants to be the first lady.
Question: Why does Joe Biden think Hilary Clinton is more qualified than him to be Vice President? Answer: Whe still has her original hair!
Question: Why is Hillary Clinton just like a man? Answer: Because she won’t pull out until she’s done.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, ”Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” ”What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks. Saddam replies, ”Allah is god, god is Allah.” Clinton says, ”You know, Saddam, I … Read more
Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
Q: What’s the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they … Read more
Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity.
Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?Dan Quayle. He’s the only one who knows that harass is one word.
Q: What’s the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they’re sending their turkey to the White House!
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two–One to promise he’ll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.
Q: Did you know that Clinton’s cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn’t really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.
Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?A. Chelsea Clinton
Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ”middle of the road Democrat”? A: Because he’s got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back.
Q: Why can’t Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics? A: Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame.
Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft.
Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he’s sworn in.
Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing.
Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin’s subjects admired him.
Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!
President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. ”Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. ”It’s me, Bill Clinton”. ”What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a bit and answered, ”Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit … Read more
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, ”Are you ready to order?” Clinton replies, ”Yes, I’d like a quickie.” ”A quickie?!?” the waitress replies. ”Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is … Read more
Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town.
President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary’s room. She complains that it’s the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President–I’ll remove the mirrors right away.
Q: What was the real purpose of Bill’s college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics.
Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips are moving, then he’s lying.
Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it.
Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky?Pres: Improper?… Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had.
Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs. They’re called ”The Johnson Years”.
Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet? A: They were dating the same girl in high school.