Barack Obama’s daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it’ll be cleaned up by future generations. –Jay Leno
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha’s basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was drive straight down the center and piss everyone off. —Conan O’Brien
In his victory speech last night, President Obama told his daughters that they would not be getting another dog. When asked why, the president said, ‘Because I just made Mitt Romney my bitch. –Conan O’Brien
Question: What did the hamburger name his daughter? Answer: Patty!
Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why?Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end…”And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, … Read more
A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, ”Does this fellow have any money ?” The daughter shook her head sadly. ”Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike.” sighing deeply, she replied, ”That’s exactly what he asked me about you.”
A man wanted an Easter pet for his daughter. He looked at a baby chick and a baby duck. They were both very cute, but he decided to buy the baby chick. Do you know why?The baby chick was a little cheeper!
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for ”minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, really?Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!
With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic. To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies. I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the … Read more
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, ”I did that by accident.” She replied, ”I know that, daddy.” He replied, ”How’d you know?” The girl said, ”Because you didn’t say ‘ASSHOLE!’ afterwards!”
Murphy said to his daughter, ”I want you home by eleven o’clock.” She said, ”But Father, I’m no longer a child!” He said, ”I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.”
Meg’s mother was visiting her daughter at camp. ‘How did you find the steak dinner?’ she asked. ‘With a magnifying glass!’