Question: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb? A1: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb. A2: Two. One to assume the existence of latter and one to change the bulb.
Question: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: None – the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.
Question: How can you tell when an economist is lying? Answer: His lips are moving.
Question: How has French revolution affected world economic growth? Answer: Too early to say.
Question: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: I’m writing my dissertation on that topic I should have an answer for you in about 5 years.
Question: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Question: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself. A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen. A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself … Read more
Question: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.
Question: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1. Just one, but it really gets screwed. 2. One to prepare the proposal, an econometrician to run the model, one each MS and PhD students to write the theses and dissertations, two more to prepare the journal article (senior authorship not … Read more
Question: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: None – the market has already discounted the change.
Question: What does an economist do? A. A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.
Question: What’s the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer’s? A. The economist is the one with the calculator.
Question: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? Answer: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.
Question: Why won’t sharks attack economists? Answer: Professional courtesy.
Question:How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Irrelevant – the light bulb’s preferences are to be taken as given.
Question:How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb? Answer:All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the AD (agg. demand) to the right
Question:Why did God create economists ? Answer:In order to make weather forecasters look good.
Q How many central bank economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: Just one — he holds the lightbulb and the whole earth revolves around him.
Question: Why do economists carry their diplomas on their dashboards? Answer: So they can park in the (morally/intellectually) handicapped parking.
Question: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent? Answer: To prove they have a sense of humour.
Question: Why do social workers refuse to sleep with economists? Answer: They have learned its a sunk cost.
Question: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea ? Answer: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
Question: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: It depends on the wage rate.
Question: How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: None. Smash it!
Question: How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I’ve had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I’ve also been named to the Wharton Light … Read more
Question: What do you call a little girl in a brown dress who is running across a playground? Answer: A brownian motion.
Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an economist? Answer: An offer you can’t understand.
Question: What does it take to be a good economist? Answer: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Question: What is a recent economics graduate’s usual question in his first job? Answer: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?
Question: What’s the difference between a finance major and an economics major? Answer: Opportunity Cost
Question: Why did the economist cross the road? Answer: It was the chicken’s day off.
Question: Why did the market economist cross the road? Answer: To reach the consensus forecast.
Question: What’s an auditor? Answer: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Question: What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Answer: Go into town and gang-audit someone.
Question: When does a person decide to become an accountant? Answer: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Question: What is the difference between a CPA and a shopping cart? A. A CPA holds more beverage.
Question: What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A. Jail.
Question: Why did the Accountant cross the road? A. To bore the people on the other side!
Question: Why do Accountant’s make good lovers? A. They’re great with their figures.
Question: Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks? A. If the breaks were longer, they’d have to retrain all the staff.
Question: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Answer: Depreciation.
Question: What does an accountant use for birth control? A. His personality.
Question: What does an actuary do to liven up a party? A. He invites an accountant.
Question: What does CPA stand for? A. Can’t Pass Again.
Question: What happens? A. Nothing, they are all fictional characters.
Question: How can you tell the difference between an actuary and an accountant? A. The actuary is the one with a personality.
Question: How can you tell when an accountant owns a used car lot? A. She keeps turning back the gas gauge.
Question: How do you drive an accountant absolutely insane? A. Tie him to a chair, and fold a road map up wrong in front of him.
Question: How do you know if an accountant is an extrovert or introvert? A. An extrovert looks at your shoes when talking to you, an introvert looks at their shoes when talking to you.
Question: How does an accountant deal with constipation? A. He works it out with a pencil.