Food Jokes
What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?
What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?Cook-a-doodle-do!
Two little boys were visiting their grandfather
Two little boys were visiting their grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn’t make up their minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, ”Just bring them bread and water.” One of the little boys looked up and quavered, ”Can I have … Read more
What’s the difference between a biscuit and a monster?
What’s the difference between a biscuit and a monster?You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?They won’t talk no matter how you grill them!
How do we know burgers love young people?
How do we know burgers love young people?They’re pro-teen!
What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?”Hey, what’s eating you?”
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours? A: Nacho cheese!
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?It’s PAN-demonium!
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?Only if they have a very frank relationship!
Girl: How much is a soft drink?
Girl: How much is a soft drink ?Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill ?Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then, I’ll have a refill.
How do you make a hamburger smile?
How do you make a hamburger smile?Pickle it gently!
How do you insult a hamburger patty?
How do you insult a hamburger patty?Call it a meatball!
Three couples are dining together. The American husband says
Three couples are dining together. The American husband says to his wife: ”Pass me the honey, Honey”. The English husband says to his wife: ”Pass me the sugar, Sugar”. The [you name it] husband says to his wife: ”Pass me the steak, Dumb cow”.
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button?
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button?When somebody says, ‘Well done’!
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Beef ! Beef who?
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Beef ! Beef who ?Beef fair now !
Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?
Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?Because he went crackers.
Three cookies were crossing the road
Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?Crumbs!
Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice?
Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice?Why?Do I look like one?
How do we know that hamburgers love classic music?
How do we know that hamburgers love classic music?They’re often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!
In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old
In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As … Read more
What did the hamburger say when it found out
What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?‘Hot dog!’
What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?
What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?Coloured eggrolls!
What is the hamburgers’ motto?
What is the hamburgers’ motto?If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again!
Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?
Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?No more, mom. It’s empty.
How do they prevent crime in hamburger country?
How do they prevent crime in hamburger country?With burger alarms!
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. ”Good heavens,” he said, ”what is this?” ”Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. ”I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. ”What is it now?”
What system do they teach in Hamburger High’s math courses?
What system do they teach in Hamburger High’s math courses?The meatric system, silly!
What what can you make from baked beans and onions?
Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
How do you make gold soup?
How do you make gold soup?Put 14 carrots in it.
What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough?
What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough?A thermomeater!
Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?
Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?Because it’s a FAST food!
Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll?
Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll?Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Butter ! Butter who?
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Butter ! Butter who ?Butter wrap up – it’s cold out here !
What do some people have against cheeseburgers?
What do some people have against cheeseburgers?They say, ‘Burgers can’t be cheesy!’
Young woman sat down in small restaurant
Young woman sat down in small restaurant, a waitress came over to take her order. ”I’ll have a hamburger please.” ”Burger!” she yelled over her shoulder. Then woman added. ”Make that well done.” Waitres turned away again. ”Torture it!” she yelled.
Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger?
Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger ?No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken !
What musical instrument goes with cheese?
What musical instrument goes with cheese?Picklelo.
Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?
Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That’s funny. My mom said you didn’t have any taste.
Fred! What did I say I’d do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again?
Fred! What did I say I’d do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again?That’s funny, Mom. I can’t remember either.
Q:What did one plate say to the other plate?
Q:What did one plate say to the other plate? A:(‘Lunch is on me!’)
What did one strawberry say to the other?
Q: What did one strawberry say to the other? A:”Look at the jam you’ve gotten us into!”
How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time?
How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time?They chew the fat.
What kind of girl does a hamburger like?
What kind of girl does a hamburger like?Any girl named Patty!
Who do hamburgers love on TV?
Who do hamburgers love on TV?Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, the meathead!
What did the salt say to the pepper?
Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?A. Hey Baby, what’s SHAKING!
Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
Why do burgers run the gauntlet?To test their meattle!
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?Make it with blue cheese!
Which burgers love to act?
Which burgers love to act?Ham-burgers!
Have you got any broken biscuits?
Have you got any broken biscuits?Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn’t be so clumsy!