When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
What was Camelot ?A place where people parked their camels !
How did you do in your tests ?I did what George Washington did ! What was that ?Went down in history !
Why did Arthur have a round table ?So no one could corner him !
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !
Why does history keep repeating itself ?Because we weren’t listening the first time !
‘What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?They were all born on holidays.”
Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
What English King invented the fireplace ?Alfred the grate !
When did Caesar reign ?I didn’t know he reigned. Of course he did, didn’t they hail him ?
Do you know the 20th President of the United States ?No, we were never introduced !
The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !
What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?He gave tanks.
What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse?Giddy up horsey !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ?Because there were so many knights !
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?A knight light
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ?Must have been a duck family A duck family ?Didn’t you say there was a quack in it !
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving?They wanted another excuse to watch football.
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ?Speaking Latin !
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ?Toga-ether we can rule the world !
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy’s tomb indicate ?The registration of the car that ran him over !
What famous chiropodist ruled England ?William the Corn-cutter!
What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ?Sat down !
Why did the Romans build straight roads ?So their soldiers didn’t go around the bend !
Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince ?Old King Coal !
How did Columbus’s men sleep on their ships ?With their eyes shut !
When were King Arthur’s army too tired to fight ?When they had lots of sleepless knights !
What do history teachers make when they want to get together ?Dates !
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?He liked to chop and change !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ?On their feet !
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?The second one !
Who invented King Arthur’s round table ?Sir Circumference !
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ?His wife !
I’m learning ancient history ?So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times !
Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train !
What was Camelot famous for ?It’s knight life !
My teacher reminds me of history She’s always repeating herself !
What was King Arthur’s favourite game ?Knights and crosses !
Teacher: ”What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?” Student: ”Baseballs.” Teacher: ”Baseballs?” Student: ”Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!”
Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter?Beggar: I didn’t think someone like you would give me a dollar.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?He wanted Mark Antony !
Where was the Magna Carta signed ?At the bottom !
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ?I don’t know, I wasn’t invited !
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ?They both have ‘the’ as their middle names !
You’ve failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !