Question: How do you make a tissue dance? Answer: Put a little boogey in it!
Question: How do you make holy water? Answer: Boil the hell out of it!
Question: How many books can you put in an empty backpack? Answer: One! After that its not empty!
Question: How do baseball players stay cool? Answer: They sit next to their fans.
Question: How do crazy people go through the forest? Answer: They take the psycho path.
Question: What did the blanket say to the bed? Answer: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
Question: How do you communicate with a fish? Answer: Drop him a line!
Question: How do you drown a Hipster? Answer: In the mainstream.
Question: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Answer: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Question: How do you repair a broken tomato? Answer: Tomato Paste!
Question: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Answer: Tentacles.
Question: What bow can’t be tied? Answer: A rainbow!
Question: How did the farmer mend his pants? Answer: With cabbage patches!
Question: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? Answer: I think I’m coming down with something!
Question: What did the alien say to the garden? Answer: Take me to your weeder.
Question: What can go up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up? Answer: An umbrella.
Question: What can you serve but never eat? Answer: A volleyball.
Question: Did you hear the joke about the roof? Answer: Never mind, it’s over your head!
Question: What concert costs 45 cents? Answer: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
Question: Have you heard the joke about the butter? Answer: I better not tell you, it might spread.
Question: What did Bacon say to Tomato? Answer: Lettuce get together!
Question: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move? Answer: The road!
Question: ”How do you shoot a killer bee?” Answer: ”With a bee bee gun.”
Question: ”What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?” Answer: ”You can’t tuna fish.”
Question: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? Answer: The lettuce was a ”head” and the tomato was trying to ”ketchup”!
Question: What dog keeps the best time? Answer: A watch dog.
Question: What exam do young witches have to pass? Answer: A spell-ing test!
Question: What gets wetter the more it dries? Answer: A towel.
Question: What goes up and down but doesn’t move? Answer: The temperature!
Question: What goes up when the rain comes down? Answer: An umbrella.
Question: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? Answer: It barked with de-light!
Question: What happens if life gives you melons? Answer: Your dyslexic
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Answer: Frostbite.
Question: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? Answer: Swimming trunks.
Question: What do you give a dog with a fever? Answer: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Question: What does a nosey pepper do? Answer: Gets jalapeno business!
Question: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Answer: Jellyfish!
Question: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Answer: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!
Question: What has one head, one foot and four legs? Answer: A Bed
Question: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? Answer: A water bed!
Question: What kind of button won’t unbutton? Answer: A bellybutton!
Question: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Answer: Firecrackers!
Question: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? Answer: A deviled egg!
Question: What kind of key opens a banana? Answer: A monkey!
Question: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? Answer: A turkey!
Question: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Answer: Flood lights!
Question: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Answer: Sneakers.
Question: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer? Answer: The Space bar!
Question: What is the best day to go to the beach? Answer: Sunday, of course!
Question: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? Answer: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ”chew chew chew”.