I donut know.
Question: What’s the first problem the Michael’s child will have in life? Answer: Figuring out which parent is his mother.
Question: What is the problem with two twin witches? A. You never know which witch is which!
What a engineer means when he says: EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM He means: We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, … Read more
Teacher, I can’t solve this problem. Any five year old should be able to solve this one. No wonder I can’t do it then, I’m nearly ten!
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, ”Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, ”That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?Don’t tell me that they haven’t found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is, don’t you? A: They get elected.
A woman got a problem with her closet door – it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. ”OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close … Read more
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said ”File not found”. I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, ”Well it says autoexec, then there’s some spaces, but no dot, and … Read more
Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems?Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel..
Doctor, doctor, I feel so short! No problem. Hop up on the couch.
The teacher came up with a good problem. ”Suppose,” she asked the second-graders, ”there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?” ”None,” answered little Norman. ”None?Norman, you don’t know your arithmetic.” ”Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?She couldn’t find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it! Doctor: Try this medicine…and if it doesn’t work come back and bring me a new video camera.
What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?A complaint Bernard!
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, ”You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.” On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, ”Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” ”Yes,” the boy’s mother answered. ”And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. ”Who … Read more
Psychiatrist: Well, what’s your problem?Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes. Psychiatrist: There’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself. Patient: Really?How do your like yours – fried or boiled?
According to ”The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went … Read more
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, … Read more