What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
Question: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? Answer: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ”chew chew chew”.
Train Jokes
What’s the difference between a train and a teacher?
Question: What’s the difference between a train and a teacher? A. The teacher says, ”Spit your gum out” and the train says, ”Choo-choo!”
An electric train is going north, which way is its smoke going?
Question: An electric train is going north, which way is its smoke going? A. Nowhere it’s an electric train!
There was a train with passengers inside
Question: There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried? A. No where, they are the survivors!
What do you call a train full of toffee?
Question: What do you call a train full of toffee? A. A chew-chew train!
What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
Question: What do you call a train full of bubble gum? A. A chew chew train.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Question: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
The difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver
What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?A schoolteacher says, ”Spit out that toffee” and a train says, ”Choo, choo.”
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. ”What’s going on?” she yells out the window. ”Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees … Read more
If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour
If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing?There is no smoke from an electric train!
A person who falls onto you on a train
What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?A laplander !
When Chuck Norris rides on a train
When Chuck Norris rides on a train, he can tell the driver where to go and let him off.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers?
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers?Oh good! A chew chew train!
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph?
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph?A witch in a high speed train.
A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved
A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved in the last couch of the train. Every time the train stops at station and he faced so much of problem as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. He was very upset and every time he was remembering that’s all happened … Read more
Where do ghost trains stop?
Where do ghost trains stop?At devil crossings.
A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper
A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji’s coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech. … Read more
Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
Where do Eskimos train their dogs ?In the mush room !
The boy who had to do a project on trains
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains?He had to keep track of everything!
Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar
Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train. ”The next train is in one hour,” said the stationmaster. The three went back into the … Read more
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?They only run a skeleton service.
What kind of ears do trains have?
What kind of ears do trains have?Engineers (engine ears).
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?When it’s on the train.
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: ”What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?” Andy says, ”I would switch the points for … Read more
Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
Why is it not safe to doze on trains?Because they run over sleepers.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?Platform shoes !
Monster: I’ve got to walk 25 miles home
Monster: I’ve got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don’t you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred eighty pounds
Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred eighty pounds, was thrown from his seat when the Southern Railway train he was riding derailed. The giant teenager flew a dozen feet through the air before hitting headfirst against a steel partition. For a moment Dilmer lay dazed, rubbing his head. The conductor came by and kneeled down beside him. … Read more
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the … Read more
A boy sat on a train chewing gum
A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said, ‘It’s no good you talking to me, young man, I’m stone deaf !’
Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.
The train was about to pull out of the station
The train was about to pull out of the station. Swinging a large bag, a young man managed to reach the train, throw his bag in and climb aboard, gasping for air. seeking at him, another man said, ”Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by … Read more
Monster: I’ve got to walk 25 miles home.’ Ghost: Why don’t you take a train?
Monster: I’ve got to walk 25 miles home.’ Ghost: Why don’t you take a train?Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother’s ear. ‘Johnny, how many times have I told you,’ said his mother, ‘ it’s rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.’ ‘OK, said Johnny, ‘why does the lady over there … Read more
The difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad
What’s the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?One trains the mind, the other minds the train.