How did the hail stone describe it’s life?-It really has a lot of ups and downs
Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes?The weatherman.
Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to … Read more
Q. What’s the difference between ‘weather’ and ‘climate’?A. You can ‘t ‘weather’ a tree, but you can ‘climate’!
A weather intern walks into a bar and asks for a Cold Draft. Suddenly the bar door swings open and gusty cool air fills up the bar. After drinking his Draft things seem to get back to normal. The guy then orders a Thunderclap on ice. Suddenly the roof gets pelted with hail stones and … Read more
What type of wind is named after Santa Claus’s warm climate cousin?Santa Ana
What is the most popular sport played by raindrops and hail stones?-Diving
Q. What did one tornado say to the other?A. ”Let’s twist again, like we did last summer….”
Rumor has it that the new Miami baseball team will be called ”Humidity” so that fans in Florida will be able to say, ”It’s not the Heat that’s so bad, it’s the Humidity.”
Why did the weather want privacy?-It was changing
Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation?Bill: I just went outside and there it was!
Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.
First cave man to 2nd cave man: ”I don’t care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows.”
What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow?-Your pants are on backwards
What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?-Hurricanes with cataracts
Why did the updraft get pulled over?-It was speeding in a high shear zone
Why do raindrops like lightning at night?-So they can see where they are going
What did the hail storm say to the roof?-Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles
What type of sense of humor does rain have?-A very wet sense of humor
Why is it so wet in Great Britain?Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) there.
What type of wind is named after a young deer?Foehn
What is the opposite of a cold front?-A warm back
What person adds best in hot weather?A summer.
Why were the vets and pounds mad?It was raining cats and dogs
What do hurricanes most like to eat for dessert?-Candy Canes
What is the most popular game played by tornadoes?-Catch my drift
‘Gosh, it’s raining cats and dogs,” said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. ”I know,” said his mother. ”I’ve just stepped in a poodle!”
The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One … Read more
Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?-To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail
In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil?-You are really blowing a lot of hot air
Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? A: I have my eye on you.
You’re hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don’t you believe?Your story teller, for there is no … Read more
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?-A very dry sense of humor
How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it’s going to rain. If not, it already is.
Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?The nearest ISOBAR!!
What is a Mexican weather report?Chilli today, hot tamale.
Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:(‘You wanna go for a spin?’)
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?-Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze
What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat?Katabatic
Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the ”pouring rain.” Well , atleast the dew point is coming down!
What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree?-Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary spark
A postcard home: The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?A wet one.
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along. ‘It smells like rain,’ he said to the boy. The city boy replied, ‘They said it was lemonade.’
Why is the sky not happy on clear days?It has the blues
Q. What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation?A. I mist you.
What game do tornadoes like to play?-Twister
How is a hailstone like an onion?-They are both whitish and have layers