😂 Husband Jokes

Customer: "I have a big problem. You cut off my head!" Me: "I'm sorry? How did I cut off your head?" (The customer shows me an obviously self-taken picture, with...

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next...

A newlywed couple had just arrived in their honeymoon suite. After unpacking, the husband took off his pants. "Put these on," he said to his wife. She did and they...

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with...

There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a gypsy and told her her...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed....

Honest to God true story. Wife (yelling from upstairs): Honey, I'm naked and the dog is loose in the front yard! Husband (downstairs): Hold on, I'll be right up! She...

I just wrote this out of boredom. I do not care what you think. If you think this bad, I can't help but say, "Go fuck yourself". A couple had...

A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, "I love you." The husband says, "Is that you or the wine talking?" The wife replies, "It's me,...

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town's preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he...

Husband messages his wife on his cellphone: Hi, wat R U doing honey? Wife replies: I'm dying Husband is delighted and jumps with joy, but texts: OMG! How am I...

An elderly couple was sitting on their front porch one day when the husband said: "Whenever I get at mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do...