😂 German Jokes

What do you call a blind German? A not see!

A Frenchman, a German and a Jew walk into a bar. "I'm tired and thirsty," says the Frenchman. "I must have wine." "I'm tired and thirsty," says the German. "I...

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian, and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are...

At the peak of the wave of East Germans fleeing through Hungary and Czechoslovakia in 1989, the persons still staying in East Germany (DDR) were called the "Der Dumme Rest"...

What was the most-frequently used word at the German-German border? "Goose meat". (Gänsefleisch, sounds like the first three words in Genn' se vleisch mal 'n Gofferraum offmachn? in the Saxon...

A West German businessman is driving a Mercedes through East Germany on a rainy night when his windshield wipers stop working. He takes it to an East German mechanic, who...

A west-german boy to a ddr-boy: Why is the banana curved? The ossie replies: Why, is this curved? (old Hungarian joke)

Which three great nations in the world begin with "U"? - USA, USSR, and our (German:unsere) GDR (USA, UdSSR, Unsere DDR). (A play on the way official discourse often used...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not. 2) When you turn out the...

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. I had a dog once....

A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in our country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking...

Natrium chloride = table salt. "Natrium", from which the symbol "Na" derives, is the German word of "sodium".