😂 Quote Jokes

Almost two hours into the Clemens and McNamee hearing, some interesting quotes can be found. (Credits to Yahoo! Sports, and 'Duk) • "Mr. Clemens bled through his designer pants." •...

I think - therefore I'm single. (Lizz Winstead) In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. (Margaret Thatcher) When women...

Age 6 - I've learned that if you spread the peas out on your plate, it looks like you ate more. Age 8 - I've learned that if you laugh...

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout." "I have whooping cough!" "Where did my bandage go?" "I think I'm going to puke." "I can compare myself to Rachel Ray! NOT!"...

Room service? Send up a larger room. Who are you going to believe; me, or your own eyes? A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of...

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait." - A. Whitney Brown "When I was a kid, I had two friends, and...

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something...

"They misunderestimate me." -Nov. 6, 2000 "Rarely is the question asked: Is out children learning?" -Jan. 11, 2000 "I aim to be a competitive nation." -April 21, 2006

"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher "WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND." -US Marine Corps "CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY,...

The following are quotes made by real police officers: "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you...