😂 Machine Jokes

In the GDR, at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are "banana machines". You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!

I have a machine which has four cog wheels in constant mesh. The largest cog has 72 teeth and the others have 36, 25 and 15 respectively. How many revolutions...

A Blonde walks into an electronic store. A saleswoman goes up to him and introduces a washing machine. Saleswoman: Sir, this machine in gurantee to do half of all your...

My lover and I can't come to the phone right now but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. Hello!...

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled...

I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.

Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE... See the world, LIVE a little... Have fun.

How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this... YOW! You know...

There once was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. He retired following a happy thirty-year career. Shortly thereafter his company contacted him about a...

A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a...

Change is inevitable... except from vending machines.

Yo momma's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.