This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: ”I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.” The woman then says: ”Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!” To which the dentist replies: ”Make up your mind, I have to adjust … Read more
A man went into a store to buy some condoms. ”That’s 1 dollar 15 plus tax,” said the store assistant. ”I don’t need tacks,” said the man. ”It’ll stay up all by itself.”
Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink? A: The grip.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
What is the definition of ‘making love’?Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.
Q: What’s one thing everybody sees in a blonde? A: A dick.
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, ”Your mom’s the best sex in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far … Read more
Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER, HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?
Q: How are women and rocks alike? A: You skip across the flat ones.
Did you ever blow bubbles as as child?Yeh, well he’s back in town and wants your new number.
Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.
What’s so bad about being a dick?Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.
Did u know that a condom had a serial number?No, I never had to unroll one that far.
A bus stops and this old lady gets off and complains to the driver: I was sexually harassed, and the driver thinks nothing of it? the bus comes to another stop and another old lady gets off and complains to the driver: I was sexually harassed and the driver thinks nothing of it, then the … Read more
Q: What do blonde’s have against condoms? A: Their cheeks.
Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women. The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man that would jump from … Read more
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?Burger King didn’t cover his Whopper.
Q: What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? A: The man.
An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy something. ”Well, my wife ain’t home, she’s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemma … Read more
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, ”Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an ”r” after the first letter.” The entire class says, ”Hello Mrs. Prussy.” A few days later the regular teacher is still … Read more
Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!
A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked:
A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn’t move. He finally brought the truck’ to a halt inches from … Read more
A man walked into an appliance store and asked the price of a 25” remote controlled color television set. ”One dollar,” the clerk replied. ”You’ve got to be kidding.” ”Look, Mac,” the clerk said, ”do you want it or not?” Of course, the customer gave him a dollar. On the way out with his incredible … Read more