Which month do soldiers hate most?
Question: Which month do soldiers hate most? Answer: The month of March!
Soldier Jokes
Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel
Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos. – In this day and age, the army should have a machine to peel potatos, complains Ivanov. – Absolutely, answered the sergeant. And you are its latest model.
What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?
Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored? A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?Soldier: No, SIR!
1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
1st Roman Soldier: What is the time ?2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !
A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city
A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. ”I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you … Read more
A soldier keeps a mug upside down
A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: – I can’t drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says: – You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.
What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers?
What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ?Infantry !
Young soldier before battle
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle. ”That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. ”Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.” ”But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant … Read more
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, ”That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, … Read more
At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked
At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: ”What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?” ”That object, naturally.” ”What makes you think that?” ” ‘Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can’t see that object even at day time.”
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous. Getting … Read more
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted to the Commanding Officer
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says ”Are you crazy?You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so … Read more
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. ”Private,” the officer said, ”I’m recommending you for a medal. You … Read more