Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats anything
Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats anything. Especially fond of children.
Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats anything. Especially fond of children.
What did the dog say to the pig?You are just a bore.
Q: What’s got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tyson’s dog.
What do you call an alcoholic dog ?A whino !
How did the dog make gold soup?He put in 24 carrots.
What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick?You should know more than your dog.
What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia?A puppy.
If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it?Twenty after one.
Alsation: How come you are always so well behaved when you go on a walk with your master?ChihuahuA: It’s the leash I can do!
Why did the dog jump into the sea?He wanted to chase the catfish!
Why do dogs wag their tails ?”Because no one else will do it for them !”
What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?A hen that lays pooched eggs.
What is your dog’s favorite breakfast?Pooched eggs!
What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it ?A sausage dog !
What did the dog say when he chased his tail?This is the end.
What should you do if you see a vicious dog?Hope he doesn’t see you.
What did the dog do when the panhandler put the bite on him?Bit him, naturally.
What dog sweats the most and drinks the most water?A hot-weiler!
What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?A guard dog !
Loomis: Does your dog have a license?Fenton: Hell, no! I do all the drivin’.
What is a baseball dog?One that chases fowls.
Q: When’s the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk?– A: Anytime he wants to go.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m a dog. Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I’m not allowed up on the couch!
Customer: There’s something wrong with my hot dogs. Waiter: Sorry, I’m a waiter, not a veterinarian.
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?A golden receiver!
What dog wears contact lenses ?A cock-eyed spaniel !
The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopoed beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen … Read more
What kind of dog chases anything red ?A bull dog !
Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?Growlcho Marx !
Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy’s dog?(hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.
What kind of dog is the most colorful?A paint Bernard!
Why didn’t the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?Because the captain stood on the deck.
Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?He puts down the three and carries the one.
What dog would you want on your American football team?A golden receiver!
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?That hit the spots !
What is a dog’s favourite sport ?Formula 1 drooling !
My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent animal! Not really, it took the cat three weeks to teach him.
What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ?A jet setter !
What is a dog’s favourite food ?Anything that is on your plate !
Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur’s Dog? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
What dog has money?A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).
What does the aardvark call his dog?Aard-bark!
Why won’t anyone eat the dogs birthday cake?Because he always slobbers out the candles!
Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire?A.It doesn’t want to become a hot dog.
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, ”I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” ”Odd,” her companion replies, ”but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to … Read more
What dog is always tired in London?An English sleep dog.
What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?A double crosser.
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah ?A dog that chases cars – and catches them !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?No you can have turkey like everyone else !