A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road
Question: A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why? Answer: The conductor. Business before pleasure.
Violist Jokes
If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?
Question: If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Answer: The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions.
The difference between a violist and a dressmaker
Q: What’s the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.
A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship
A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. ”Help!” cried the cellist, ”I can’t swim!” ”Don’t worry,” said the violist, ”just fake it.”
Which positions does a violist use?
Q: Which positions does a violist use? A: First, third, and emergency.
Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?
Q: Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Q: Why don’t violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them.
What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers.
How is lightning like a violist’s fingers?
Q: How is lightning like a violist’s fingers? A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, ”While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down.” The violist replied, … Read more