How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders.
Nurse Jokes
Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.
Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of accident
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now! Nurse: What is it?Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot of doctors, but that’s not important now!
Why did the nurse always insist on using the thermometer
Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient’s best side.
How many triage nurses to change a lightbulb??
How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?One, but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.
How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?None – They just have a nursing assistant do it.
Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next week?
Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next week?Patient: No, I’m sick now.
A nurse was showing some student nurses
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. ”This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well.”
The nurse who died and went straight to hell
Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!
Three nurses went to heaven
Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates. The first nurse said, ”I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.” St. … Read more
Psychiatrist to his nurse: Just say we’re very busy
Psychiatrist to his nurse: ”Just say we’re very busy. Don’t keep saying ‘It’s a madhouse.”’
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
Jack went to see the camp nurse
Jack went to see the camp nurse. ‘I fell last night,’ he said. ‘And I was unconscious for eight hours.’ The nurse was shocked. ‘How awful. What happened?’ ‘I fell asleep!’
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?Nurse: No change yet.
Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?
1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.
Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?
Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work? A: In case they have to draw blood.
What did the emu say to the nurse?
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
A nurse had to take a patient back to hr room
A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of woman friends who asked, ”How is she?” The nurse replied, ”Oh, she’s quite dopey.” One of the … Read more
How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility?
How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility?She’s the one with dirty knees.
What’s the difference between a nurse and a nun?
What’s the difference between a nurse and a nun?A nun only serves one God.